When I was lost in my addiction, I didn’t care about anyone or anything. I just wanted out of my own head. I didn’t want to live anymore. At the end of my last run, I woke up in a hospital bed begging a God of my understanding to save me from myself. That was a desperate cry to live, and somehow I’m still here.
Today I’m living life one day at a time, and I’m grateful for that. The real crime was never my drinking and using until it became one . The real crime was thinking I wasn’t hurting anyone but me. The truth is I was hurting everyone who loved me, even when I told myself I wasn’t.
Addiction lies to us. It tells us we’re fine when we’re not. It tells us we’re alone when people are praying for us. In recovery I’ve learned how to live again. I’ve learned how to show up, how to be honest, and how to let my Higher Power lead my thought s instead of my old thinking as well as taking control of the thing s and situations i cannot. Im eternally grateful for that.
I didn’t get here on my own. I was shown grace. For today, that’s enough.
With love
Christopher