When is a secret NOT a secret?

Alcoholics tend to live secret lives...It is a great relief to get rid of all our secrets and to share the burden of our past.

We've heard it said that "we're as sick as our secrets." What do we keep secret, and why?

We keep secret those things that cause us shame. We may hold onto such things because we don't want to surrender them. Yet if they're causing us shame, wouldn't we live more easily with ourselves if we were rid of them?

Some of us hold onto the things that cause us shame for another reason. It's not that we don't want to be rid of them; we just don't believe we can be rid of them. They've plagued us for so long, and we've tried so many times to rid ourselves of them, that we've stopped hoping for relief. Yet still they shame us, and still we keep them secret.

We need to remember who we are: recovering alcoholics. We who tried so long to keep our drinking a secret have found freedom from the obsession and compulsion to drink. Though many of us enjoyed drinking right to the end, we sought recovery anyway. We just couldn't stand the toll our drinking was taking on us. When we admitted our powerlessness and sought help from others, the burden of our secret was lifted from us.

The same principle applies to whatever secrets may burden us. Yes, we're as sick as our secrets. Only when our secrets stop being secret can we begin to find relief from those things that cause us shame.

Just for Today: My secrets can make me sick only as long as they stay secret. Today, I will talk with my sponsor about my secrets.

4 Likes

Love this about secrets. I know I keep secrets still mostly because I don't want to constantly explain myself. I don't outright lie, but keep things close until I know it's safe. It's a trauma response. And trauma of some kind is rooted in addiction as we all know. I wonder if I had gotten the help I needed for my trauma if my recovery story would have been different... ahh thoughts for another day. :dove:

~Peace

1 Like