When is it time to call it quits?

As the title says, when is it time to call it quits?

I’ve been with my girlfriend for about 4 months. When we first got together, she was the one who helped me get sober — morning and nighttime calls, support, all of it. I credit her with playing a big part in helping me stay clean.

But here’s the thing: she can’t seem to stay sober herself. Every few weeks, she finds a new excuse to pick the bottle back up. I’ve tried to be supportive. I’ve listened, I’ve talked, I’ve pleaded. When she is sober, she’s an amazing woman and mother — the kind of person I could see a future with. I even bought rings.

But when she drinks, everything changes. She gets so inebriated she can’t take care of herself, let alone her kids. Her youngest is still with her, and I’ve been the one changing diapers, making meals, putting the baby to sleep. Her mother has custody of her older child. I’m stepping into this father/partner role full force, and honestly, I’m exhausted.

She says she wants to quit drinking — and I believe her — but she can’t make it stick. And every relapse chips away at both my love and my strength. I feel like an overworked babysitter, housekeeper, cook, and lover rolled into one.

I love her, and I worry most about what happens to her kid if I walk away. But I’m burning out. I’ve been seriously wondering: do I give her one more chance? Or is it time to let go — for my own peace and sanity?

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This is so tough. It does seem like it's time to tell her that your relationship is contingent on her sobriety and explain why just as you did here. If you've had that discussion and it's not sticking out sounds like it's time to walk away. Leaving the relationship might be a wakeup call to her. Since you are worried about the baby you might want to talk to her mother as well so she is looped in. I know that will probably not make your girlfriend happy but the child needs care.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

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You don’t owe your sobriety to anyone. You earned it. I know she played a role, but if staying is costing you your peace or putting the kids in a bad spot, you already know what needs to happen.

Sometimes the strongest thing we can do for the people we love is step back and protect ourselves. If she’s going to get better, it starts with her, and sometimes that means she has to feel the loss. Stay connected here with others as you sort through it. Wishing you the best whatever you decide.

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It seems to me you already know. Seems more like youre asking if its okay. So to put it simply.

Does this make you a bad person? No.

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