I’m struggling with forgiving myself. There are things I still can’t even admit to myself.
You’re right… it wasn’t fun. I guess I’m just struggling so bad today that I feel like anything must be more fun than this ya know.
Thanks so much for taking the time to reply.
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You can do this. And you don’t have to do it alone. I use 12 step recovery. I highly recommend it. I resisted for so long, but when I got there I found my people. My feelings were validated. I was welcomed and I was taught how to transition from white knuckled abstinence to recovery from alcoholism.
Most ppl are very hesitant to go to AA. I urge you to give it a try. Surround yourself with people who have been where you are, but are no longer suffering. They found relief.
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In the beginning a friend told me I don't have control how people respond to my actions. I can only keep showing people I'm living a different way. Stay strong
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Hey Michelle, I know how you feel. My now ex boyfriend brought up my past all the time. Most of the mistakes I made were before I met him but he would constantly call me awful names to make me feel more bad about myself. It was so frustrating . But I think it’s his insecurity within himself, instead of working on his own issues he’d rather deflect and point out mine to avoid dealing with it. Hang in there. 39 days is amazing and you deserve to be proud of yourself. 
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When you’re only doing it for you is when it sticks
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Read page 417 in the big book
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First thing is 39 days is a huge accomplishment!!!! Be very proud of yourself. I'm at 40 today and it is not easy. I really want everything to be great and everything restored but it's going to take time. 1 day at a time. I may not know you or your situation but I'm telling you I'm proud of you because it is not an easy thing to do!!!
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Do it for you!! The past is gone and there is going to always be someone who refers to the past. When it happens to me, which it still does now, I don't care. I'm a new me and that's what's important.
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I'm having the same issues with family right now. I told my sister I was 2 wks I'm only 2 days. It's rough there people here that care and are nice. I hope you are doing good. You made it past 1 month already and I couldn't get past my 10 days I had the other day
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So hard to be stuck in the past self shame. I completely understand how u feel. So hard bc we crave love and acceptance. You aren’t alone.
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