Had 14 years sobriety. Did AA for 2 years. Got pregnant by an “old timer”. The most pathological liar ever. Not just me who noticed but the courts after years who decided he was mentally unfit and $23,000 later in lawyer fees. So he shows up at her high school graduation in 2016 and I’ve been drunk ever since. Not proud at all. I go 4-6 months then binge. Between empty nest and her desire to have a relationship with her dad is killing me. And now my awesome husband is very ill so I drink cuz he’s in bed most of the day. Can’t go to meetings cuz I can’t leave him alone. Or I use that as an excuse? And I have pto and fmla? Help:sweat:
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You gotta want it you gotta want to be clean and sober and we will go to any linkths to stay clean and sober, and yes, I’ve seen that in meetings before they are sexual predators. They’re cleaning sober, but they have a sexual sickness that is uncurable know a man in the program that has gone through a lot of newcomer women and one of them kill themselves because of him it was a very sad affair, and he still goes to meetings he should be in jail I think and I dated a woman that was the same way. She goes through man that has less years than her every 2 to 3 years. It’s pretty sad to see these people and they still go to meetings like there’s nothing wrong, I wish there was a way AA  could band these people from the rooms
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Thank you Ken. I needed to hear “you gotta go to any lengths”
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I've been dealing with the empty nest myself. It's something that hits us all when we least expect it!
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It hits so hard. Some parents love it. Feels like I lost a limb. She’s doing great without me so I’m grateful.
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That sounds like a bad situation. I’m guessing that drinking at him for 8 years did not improve things. I’m also guessing that drinking while looking after your husband is not productive either. If you take the alcohol out of the equation it’s bound to get better.
If you have a desire to stop drinking then I would suggest detox.
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What do you get when you sober up a drunken horse thief??
A sober horse thief.
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I wish. Can’t afford detox. $10,000 with my insurance. Healthcare in America in 2024. Right now we have $7,000 in bills because of his healthcare costs.
God I hate those AA sayings!
I’ve never believed people who couldn’t share their own thoughts without quoting the AA stuff. I can quote the Bible with the best of them. Doesn’t mean I’m a saint.
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Salvation Army has free detox. Maybe if you look in your area you can find another organization that offers a free detox. Like Ken said we have to be willing to go to any lengths.
I was given the gift of desperation.
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Again I would love treatment. I really love detox and treatment. But Salvation Army in my area is for men only. Plus I cannot leave my husband. His family is hours away.
Crazy good news! After calling his doctor many times yesterday and not getting a call back, he called back at 8:45 tonight. Called in new meds to the pharmacy that I can pickup tomorrow. This is a fricken miracle and just the hope I need.
God is good🙏🏻
Where do you go from here?
It can be as simple as you allow it to.... Pathological a-hole or not a girl deserves to know her mother AND father. Let that sh!t go. Don't let it take rent in your mind...
14 years sobriety... You trust in God, your higher power. You support your husband, sober and prese t, I. his illness. You get back on that wagon, pause a moment and reflect where you went wrong, where you need and DESERVE healing. We can't heal what we mask.
YOU GOT THIS BARBARA K. GET A SUPPORT GROUP AND GET BACK ON THE PATH THAT PAYS I. GREAT REWARDS THAT IS SOBRIETY!
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Quoting AA does not make anyone a saint in fact it makes them an addict and n
in need of clever sayings in support of one's own sobriety. If they repeat it to you, please understand it's not judgment, the goal / idea is encouragement. AA, perhaps is not for everyone but we all need a support group, we all need a call to and plan of action, we all need sober friends. You did it before, you'll do it again, and better than before Barbara K!
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Love you❤️thank you for your kind words
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