gratitudes this morning! I am grateful for the LEO who gave me the parameters for having this van towed. Yes. The van will be gone today. Completely legally removed. Tow company will be here at 745. Not happy about being late for work. Good to have PTO for incidents like this. I set an expectation and I am following through with my word. I am grateful for being stronger than ever and operating with the wise mind.
I am grateful for the support of our team. Yesterday I had a group member walk out of group. I asked, "What can you take accountability for?" He got heated and loud and I bluntly stated that the conversation was over, "we are moving on, we have group..." After speaking with the referring party, he was the same way during the assessment. Totally not appropriate for group. I picked up on this bullying and negative behavior from session 1, 4 weeks ago. I stood my ground and followed through with the boundaries set early on. His choice. I am grateful for the support of coworkers who witnessed his antics. He said horrible things to me so I referred him to our male therapist with the recommended protocols of ruling out Anger Management and /or Batterers Intervention assessments.
I am grateful for night 2 of Shiloh sleeping in peace. I am so grateful for the hour of play I witnessed between her and Little Man last night. Reflecting on nights long ago of when there was nothing but soggy eyes to now where they played and I encouraged Little Man to enjoy the playfulness. I am grateful to be sober and enjoy these moments.
I am grateful for the small progresses witnessed yesterday in the face to face men's BIP group. We talked about shame-o-phobia. What do you do to refrain from the feeling of shame? Those of us with a history of addiction can loudly say we numbed it. Being in addiction we all have had times we are ashamed of our choices and behaviors because of what the drugs and alcohol presented us with...no shame in the moment. The Wise Mind soggy and our inhibitions unbridled leaving us with shame later on when sober. Shameful feelings of behaviors we now have to sit with and feel. That is NOT fun nor does it feel good. Yet, we are sober today and have to admit to ourselves our addiction played such a huge role in our negative behaviors. Today is a new day. Today is a sober day. Today is a day to be strong and know that the Shameful feelings are part of the healing process. We have to admit our wrongs. We have to hold ourselves accountable for our actions then and now. What do you do as a means of reacting to your shame? That was the topic yesterday and many men admitted that they used substances to numb the feelungs. So, it was a great day to be a PRS!
Today is another day for BIP. The virtual one. I am grateful to be a part of this group.
Today, strong. Grateful and Sober!
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