In the last three weeks I’ve managed to screw up every important personal relationship I’ve built in the last 10 years. All through my own self destructive actions and my inability to process emotions. I tend to drink them instead which leads to irrational behaviors I’ve normalized over the years. I deeply hate myself right now.
It’s my 5th day sober, and I’m really struggling right now. I’ve never been so lonely, depressed, and disappointed in myself.
Same. I drink my emotions. All those feeling will pass.. it’s east to forget that eventually those low thoughts start turning around with the (sober)days.. try not to weigh yourself down with loveless self talk. Your here now 5 days in. Be gently with yourself.. we’re human … you’ve got this 
Thanks for the kind words Kristina. Trying to put days together, trying to feel the hope.
One day at a time you’ll slowly learn and grow. We do bad stuff and beat yourselves up when you should switch it around and be easy on yourself and love yourself. Hopefully you will learn from these situations and not put yourself in a position to drink.
You deserve sobriety and people around you. You are strong enough 
Your story feels quite similar to mine a few months ago. I promised all those folks I'd detox then rehab then sober living. I'm 60 sober now and all those relationships are healing and I'm so glad I just allowed myself to be helped finally. I would recommend the same path to you my friend. Looks like you've done the detox but at least a 30 day rehab I couldn't recommend to you more now so you can get a stronger footing in your sobriety. Good luck my friend
Strength and Serenity
Thanks for sharing your story brother. I found a meeting in the morning, it’ll be my 1st. I’ll look into the 30d. Congrats on your progress.
Pro tip : I don't know your insurance situation in fact many will take all and anything Medicaid/Medicare even sign you up if needed but they want to hear that you are more recently abstaining to justify payment sometimes 🤷
Stupid I know but be on the lookout for that... Like they wanna hear you just stopped drinking yesterday kind of thing if you go that route.
Anyhew, good luck my dude
Hang in there, be proud of these 5 days Remember one day at a time. Things will get better I promise. Sending good vibes you got this.
So many great responses from our recovery family!! Your words strike a chord with me as well. I’ve been there, and I will never forget hitting my last bottom. Get some help. This is a good start.
I’m thinking most of us if not all drink the same way….every time I did something insane I would totally rationalize it to like oh it’s not that bad before I picked up my next drink until the day I woke up and said to myself it is that bad….hang in there we are all here to talk if u need
Seek treatment my friend. We cannot recover on our own. Detox, CSS, RRS, IOP's, so on and so forth will be really helpful to start and maintain sobriety. I myself was resistant, but at some point you will find the "gift of desperation" as you'll hear people say. Finally you will surrender to those who have done it before you. If you put in the effort it will be worth it.
Taking away a little hope from your comment, thanks friend.
I understand how you are feeling . And believe me it will pass . Just know that you are now on the right track and are working on being a better person . Take all the energy you put into your addiction and put it into your recovery. One day at a time you got this 
I love this thought Katie, thanks for posting. The amount of support this post is getting is extremely helpful.
Get to some meetings and listen to the people in those rooms , we are all in this together , one day at a time , it will get better , have to want it and don’t give up , 76 days ago I was a hot mess , now I’m building back trust with family and friends , hope that helps bud , don’t pick up that drink ,
No matter what, stay sober…. You can deal with fixing the broken relationships at a later date.
Do you do any meetings? I know I made so many friends in meetings. I am lonely because my family doesn’t bother with me because they drink I don’t. They don’t like that hubby doesn’t party with them anymore so some have stopped talking to me. But one day at a time I will:pray: have 29 months next week. Grow yourself a recovery team. 
Actually, I went to my 1st meeting this morning. I was so emotional when speaking, crying… quivering voice… felt good though. I was blown away with the amount of people who approached me and offer support after. Felt hope for the 1st time in a while.
Absolutely because they understand where others just don’t get it. . Keep going grow that team. If you really want this you can definitely do it. Keep posting here too.
Heard, thanks for the support Jeremy.