Why do I always think I can have a few drinks but that is never the case 
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I lived in that pattern for three years until I knew I was completely defeated and surrendered to the fact I could never safely drink again.
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The insanity of addiction. Doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. Have you hit the bottom yet? If so stop digging. Get to a meeting, and get the help you deserve. We are all here for you!
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I wondered the same thing.
I found out for me it was because I am an alcoholic.
So when I drink, no matter what my intentions are I can’t control the amount I drink. I want to, but can’t.
Also, if I’m controlling the amount I drink I’m not enjoying it. If I’m enjoying it I’m not controlling it.
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For us, it’s like a rush of mania takes over and we become a completely different person, at least that was me.. insane confidence ego as bigger than my head and a feeling I could face the world head on… that only steered me into serious trouble.. I don’t know why we react like this it’s like a drug.. I guess that’s alcoholism.
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Well said
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No more trying to drink socially I 
can not do that… I guess i had to try just once more to make sure and I’ve proven that it’s impossible
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Someone at a meeting last night said: “This disease is the only disease I’ve ever had that TELLS me that I don’t have a disease”
It’s in alignment too tho! Don’t Beat yourself up. In the book they even recommend it - if you don’t believe it yet, “go out and practice some controlled drinking. It may be worth a case of the jitters to realize just where you are”
That being said.. I wouldn’t ever recommend it. But I’m coming from a place of recommending avoiding the shame cycle that has done damage in my life…
The alcoholic obsession is to think we can drink like normal people. Bill Wison
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Exactly man. I try to have just a couple and I'm literally miserable.
I'm addicted to abusing alcohol. I don't like having just a few.