Why do I use? There is only one reason “comfort” .
We have many triggers internal and external that make us uncomfortable. The natural progression is to seek instant relief! We have been told forever that pain or discomfort is bad and we should not have to experience it. We have a situation ,we seek relief ,we use our coping skill, we develop a habit, we lose self control and become powerless. We are now dependent Addicted. Your Power is your independence. What is your Higher Power? What power greater than your self helps you to keep your Independence. Stay connected Stay Free!
The reason I used. Was because I had no self-esteem I had no faith in myself I had absolutely nothing. I come from a family of seven kids and I was the black sheep of the family. Nobody cared about me. I could do whatever I wanted and not have to say anything to my mother. She raise those kids and worked a full-time job by herself. I know she done the best that she could do. And I know seven kids a handful. And there’s always one that was a loaner and that’s me. My mom and dad told me one time that I would be in prison just because they could say that. I got in trouble once with the law and that was the last time because I learn my lesson. Never spend a day in jail. The things that I know today I learned on my own. I was always told that I was a loser and I was going to be that way the rest of my life. And I believed all that because it was drilled into my head. But here I am 37 years sober and I still have issues that I need to deal with professionally. That’s why I drink to deal with my fucking depression. And still today I feel like drinking Because I can’t deal with at all anymore.
I still have more to say but I felt the book is long enough.
Good job Kelly. John
I relate to your story. I think drinking helped me with oversensitivity. I’ve been sober 30+ years and it’s still a battle.