Why is it so difficult to find a good woman?

Recovery
#1

Why is it so difficult to find a good woman? Or for the female peeps a good man? Starting to feel that way👇

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#2

Here’s a suggestion. Make a list of qualities that you want in the “good” woman you’re looking for. Then ask yourself, “do I possess these same qualities?” Work on yourself first, learn to love yourself. When you do this the good woman will find you.

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#4

Well said!

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#5

I made a plenty of fish account years ago and straight out listed everything I was and wasn't looking for, no hook ups, lasting relationship and then the qualities and said "yah I may have high standards but I'm done playing games lol" and I have been married happily with the greatest woman on earth for 8 years and we now have a beautiful almost 3 year old daughter. And I also don't think that quote relates to all people because I am an extreme extrovert and need to be around people. If I'm alone I get drained and depressed. It's nice every once and awhile but I feed off of others energy and love to do the same for others.

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#7

I know what I want, make no mistake on that please. I hunt, fish, shoot guns, binge watch movies, shows, back at the gym to get my body back in shape and when I get my physique back…its a tattoo sleeve on my arm.

#8

Last dating app I was on kept sending me basically my ex over and over again. I took this to mean my picker is still broke AF :grin:

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#9

Ya its tough and irritating. I remember using a rotary phone and all that! Thought it would easy to find someone but its not.

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#10

It’s truly awful, especially hard for us as social things without alcohol, etc., and I would really like to find someone with different baggage than mine :joy:. Good luck and peace :v:t2:

#11

Lol, so true and take care

#12

Excellent suggestion. My sponsor has me do a (relationship ideals) every few months as needed.

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#13

It is, but we all want that person in our life. I dont have the answer to why its so hard to find her or him due to online dating apps but Im gonna work on myself with the gym, hunting, fishing, shooting guns, and more. Unfortunately society deems a person who is alone as a failure but simply isnt the truth.

#14

You ever think she’ll just come to you when you stop looking? Do you need to get out of your “norm”? AKA don’t date what you would normally go for? I’m sure most people feel or think the same way. Get your sobriety and mental health in check and she’ll show up. No doubt about it.

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#15

I have that all right now.

#16

And no Im not gonna date a drinker or user.

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#17

Do you love yourself? How are you going about “finding” said female?

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#18

Yes I do love myself. That was the most honest, sincere and hardest question my therapist asked me in treatment. No at the time I didnt, but I do now.

#19

As far as finding that woman…IDK? I live in Wisconsin so drinking is much a part of life like eating food. I know this cause when I was still drinking and visiting different states or countries they knew instantly I was from Wi. Thats whats hard, I have two sons that I will never abandon nor ignore. Its my…..dealio

#20

I like Jordan Peterson’s take on this. I know he can be polarizing with some things, but there’s some wisdom in this short video.

For now, I am alone, but I am not lonely. I will become the best version of myself that I can, and strive to achieve the qualities I want in an ideal partner. That much I can control.

1 Like
#21

Well said and agree :100:. I want a woman but do not need a woman to be happy.

2 Likes
#22

I gave up on dating and finding someone a long time ago. Women want nothing to do with me.