Why is sobriety so lonely?
11 Likes
Ego. At least for me at the beginning it was. My ego was completely deflated. I thought I could not be social because of the past. I didn’t want to deal with triggers, I thought everyone was talking about me. I was shamed by my guilt of behaviors that were definitely not cool. When I let it all go, I found that I was not lonely at all. I still hang with most of my friends, and family. And my ego just had to go back though an adjustment. I needed to learn I could trust myself to not drink. And now I still have a blast. I just remember it the next day!
5 Likes
Because we are finally feeling what we’ve been running from for so long. Active addiction is horribly lonely, but we numb these feelings automatically so that we don’t have to deal with them. Even if we are surrounded by people in our active addictions, most of us feel so lonely and unconnected. In recovery, all of these feelings rise to the surface and we become very aware of them. Recovery is about learning to handle these emotions without the need to medicate. That is why it is often suggested to get involved in a program and go to meetings. This is how we connect with others that finally understand us. Little by little we learn to feel comfortable in our own skin. For me, I practice a daily program that “helps” me feel connected. I do this by praying, meditating, speaking with my sponsor, communicating with my support group, going to meetings etc. I don’t do all of these things every day, but I do them often. The more I do them the better I feel. I still feel some loneliness from time to time, but is balanced out by feeling very connected at times as well. I doubt it’ll ever go away. However, if I’m mindful of it, and choose to use the tools I’ve learned, I believe I can learnt to be happy ODAAT 
4 Likes
I remember those days Feeling alone feeling like a cast away Feel like I'm just not in place with anybody But guess what that's just a feeling and it will pass you just need to continue on the right path just keep doing the next right thing We are going to come across a lot of feelings and emotions and emotions that we never thought exist due to our addiction but once I shall bribe you kicks in send we are going to overcome all those affiliates anymore all of a feelings and emotions and we're gonna start embracing all the good things that life has to offer And you wanna know what the best part of that is we are gonna appreciate it so much that it's going to become part of our daily living So it's OK to go through these fields and emotions as part of recovery Just go to those meetings talk to your sponsor read that book use a higher power use I have power use all the people you love and I love you and I love you all those tools that is offered to us we are to use them to the best of our ability and again we can't go wrong stay connected I can't stress this enough just keep doing the next right thing that works for me That works for a lot of us just don't get stuck in those emotional feelings cause they shall pass You have a great day and a blessed one
2 Likes
I apologize I'm using my my voice on my phone and it's not connecting right that's right so it's saying things that I'm not really saying I do apologize just read between the lines on what I was saying I'm getting apologized for some of the words that was that's being said take now technology you gotta love it lol just keep being strong
2 Likes
“Alcoholism is a disease of loneliness”
This is why it’s important that we go to meetings regularly, fellowship before and after, and develop a group of friends that we can share with openly.
It took me sometime to get use to being alone. Last night I had dinner at a restaurant alone. It’s not the first time nor will it be the last. I may not always be ok with being alone but I don’t have to drink to hide my emotions.
3 Likes
I heard in a couple of meetings that connection is the opposite of addiction. I find doing things that I don’t really feel like doing has been the key to connecting.
Going to meetings and getting women’s phone numbers (and using them) sharing on this forum and reaching out to other recovering people has been helpful. Others did it for me. It worked. Hang in 🫶
2 Likes
It really is! 
1 Like
Being a drunk barfly is truly lonely.
3 Likes
Find the power in your isolation! It frees you from expectations (which may drive you to bad habits) and you can do the work to get through to the other side.
2 Likes
Can I ask, is it really more lonely than the alternative, when all is said..?
2 Likes
I enjoy my quiet, peaceful life now. I used to be lonely, and I strive for a strong, meaningful connections. In time maybe they will come, but for now I am enjoying my time with myself. I’m also saving money, working on my physique, and building my life up. Maybe loneliness is another word for boredom?
1 Like
okay
It's okay, I understand 
Nice, good for you
Personally, I had to find myself first. I didn’t know who I was without alcohol. I didn’t have any real hobbies or interests. I dove into drinking at 18 and never stopped. I didn’t develop as an adult.
After figuring that out and finding people who liked what I did, it felt a little less lonely.
It’s a huge shift in lifestyle. I feel lonely sometimes just because it seems like there’s so many people drinking and I’m not. But then I remember how lonely I actually was when I was binge drinking all the time. I think it’s good for us sober folk to connect and share our thoughts and stories with one another. Or even at the very least, know there are people out there just like us. You’re not alone, I’m right there with ya
Get a pet
It doesnt have to me. Recovery is a team sport. Go to meetings, meet people, find a sponsor who can introduce you to others in the program. Addiction is isolating and lonely. Sobriety doesn't need to be.
You gotta get out of your comfort zone. It is super hard, but do something once a day that you are scared of doing.
1 Like