Honestly so tired of messing things up over alcohol. I have a habit of ruining good things and good relationships, probably ruined one of the first genuine friendships I've had in a while last night. Video called this man while I was drunk, knowing he is working the program and staying sober, like how selfish is that? Sabotage is basically my middle name, if I feel like someone is distancing themselves from me.. I just do something to ruin it before they have an opportunity to let me down.. there are obviously some very deep issues that I have not come to terms with. Said person is better off not talking to me. I need to get a grip, if I'm ever going to reach my full potential.
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I am sorry Courtney. We have all done things we are not proud of ourselves for. I am here to chat if you need someone to talk to.
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Hey Courtney I totally understand where you're coming from. Deciding not to drink and following through consistently for me has given me the opportunity to address some inner workings with positivity rather than trying to address complex volatile issues when hammered and driving my friends or family away. Plus no hangovers which is great.
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Same
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Thankyou Shannon!! Appreciate your comment 
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Joshua, this is the goal I would love to achieve. I have to work on the one day at a time scenario.. I get to wrapped up in wanting life to change RIGHT NOW.. I realized.. it takes TIME.
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I feel every word of this. Definitely not alone. I still have nightmares over things like this. I wish I had something more valuable to say. I know there is hope to change to never have to worry about this again. I believe we can do it 
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Just know your not alone and you haven’t done anything we all haven’t when loaded. He being in recovery will hopefully understand that, especially if he has had a slip or relapse. Hang in there and keep reaching out to others in Recovery’s we are here for you.
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Indeed. For me it's continuing to make forward progress, however slow or fast, and not backsliding because I get frustrated with how things are or such. One day at a time for sure, because there is only one today. But, the days do add up and build positive momentum.
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