Wishing I had a sponsor still in early stages of recovery feeling like I’m about to relapse…
Check out the women’s groups near you. Get phone lists from the local groups. There are people close to you that will help if you ask them.
Do u have a home group? Go to a lot if different meetings till u find one u like if u don't have one
Instead of wishing you had a sponsor. Got to meetings and get a sponsor.
Sponsors are always available. Hope you find one and hope you are honestly ready for someone to hold you responsible. Reading material and mediation help me when I feel a certain way. Hope the best for you.
Listen for a sponsor when you go to meetings and ask the person are they willing to do the work I went through 3 sponsor until I found one that really does step work the 12 and 12. I have learned so much about me and my defects and other things. So get a person that’s going to do the work. It’s about saving your life. 
Am a member of NA 22 years clean and sober from NYC.