Yeah it takes a while. I have to say though, when I was drinking I didn’t trust someone who didn’t drink. I just thought it was bizarre. Today I am a sober member of AA. Your not drink may have made them uncomfortable because they struggle with alcohol.
Either way I am powerless over what others think. I have to turn it over and work thru the steps on my resentments. Hope this helps.
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Hi Shannon, I’m a woman in tech as well so this really resonates with me. For most of my career so far I’ve worked in tech partnerships so I’ve been to a million of those dinners and now I’m newly sober and looking for my next job and this is a scenario I think about a lot. I put up with a lot of male bullshit at work while I was still drinking and I let it all slide and also let it demoralize me and screw with my confidence. I’m determined not to do that anymore so honestly I think what I would do in your situation is send a note to HR (if you feel you have a solid HR dept). I would ask that they not take action but to put my note on file that this person is not representing the company well by pressuring coworkers to drink or bullying them if they don’t. That way if he ever does something stupid that catches HR’s attention (and he will) your note will be on his record as further confirmation that he sucks. And sending the note will give you some peace that you took action and stood up for yourself while also avoiding a confrontation. Just my two cents as your fellow tech female badass. Message me if you ever want to chat about the bullshit we deal with in this industry lol. You got this!
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Have you tried to talk to him and tell him personally that you felt picked on and bullied? If not, give it a try as he may not have good social skills and that was his way of being friendly. If you have and he continued, then definitely tell him what's on your mind as nobody deserves to feel uncomfortable about their choices.
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Alcohol is the only drug you have to explain not using. It's a set up
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I’m so sorry you went through that. Some people are not very self aware. It sounds like you are. I would let it go and focus on what I would do if in that situation again next time. But it’s what you feel most comfortable with!
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Regardless if you are winning or losing anyone will talk good and bad about you.
Just smile at them because you’ve been through the ringer and back and look where you are at now!!
Had the same experience at a birthday party last week for my friends son who turned 1 (yeah who drinks at a 1 year olds bday party?) but everyone around me was drinking and kept offering me beer. I keep my demons in so nobody knows about my past. I was drinking water and they just keep asking and asking. I really didn’t get triggered but more aggravated because I had to keep telling them NO. Moral of the story is to don’t go to a 1 year old bday party 
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A 1 year olds bday party 
yea it’s so triggering at times…..sometimes I just want to scream, my name is shannon & im an alcoholic & addict 
How do you think it would of gone if you joined them in drinking?
Did your mouthy coworker have a problem with alcohol or was he acting like boys do in grade to the girl they like? Both?
I’m in tech sales too and dinners and events are so difficult, while I’m in early recovery. I feel ya!
It's good to vent about that stuff here. Use that indignation for your own good! F people who minimize or question sobriety!
I tell people that I do business with that if I start drinking I'm going to lose motivation to do the things I have to do later. That I have things planned & I'll end up drinking more than one & becoming lazy. Or I just tell them it doesn't fit my lifestyle. Don't worry about what other think.