Work stress. How/when to quit

Recovery
#1

So I’ve never been one to like most places of work and tend to be pessimistic. It gets worse when I’m drinking which I am (can only get 3-5 days AF). I’m fortunate enough to be in a career that pays v. slightly above average for a single person living in an expensive city. Only thing is the work culture & my drinking is messing with my health and maybe perception of things. My manager is controlling and kind of moody but the other new hires, starting more or less the same time as me, seem to not feel or convey the same. They get defensive at times if I complain which can be my fault bc we’ll all new, less than a year, so complaining might be a stupid move, which leaves me feeling petty, like I’m
over reacting fueled by alcohol or dumb and not know how to play the work/be a normal human in life game.

I want so bad to take several months off to gather myself but short of giving abrupt notice or taking FMLA for rehab which I’m not ready for (having that on my record) I don’t know what to do. Cut the job loose and potentially wreck my reputation or wait patiently to save up and/or find another job? Has anyone else been in the same situation or currently going through the same?

#2

Here is my opinion… work is not always fun. That’s why it is called work. Being the “bitchy” or “complaining” co worker will do nothing but wreck your reputation… worse than if you did take FMLA and went to rehab. You are in control of one thing… your own actions.
You said you don’t like work, and are pessimistic. That is a you thing. Have you tried to find one good thing a day at work? Just one. The next day find two.
If the work culture is toxic, or just a bad place of employment then for sure get out. I would never tell someone to not have something lined up first. But in my experience (I job jumped a lot when drinking) it does nothing to keep bouncing from job to job. Trying to get coworkers to join in the b!tch sessions does nothing but turn you into the problem. It’s a mindset. Work is work. Just make the best of it. Hope that helped somewhat.

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#3

What do you mean a record? I think all companies have a FMLA program where you can keep the reason confidential. I took FMLA to get better and it went through a third party.

#4

Melissa- I don’t know what kind of record gets put on file but I do have a lot of nosy coworkers including manager that will pry.. were you able to return to the same job?

#5

I needed to hear some of that and maybe to reassess if the job is a good fit. It can get pretty intense, has a steep learning curve and we’re expected to be very social. Being expected to contribute to multiple meetings is rough on the social anxiety .

Maybe I’m not up for the challenge of the position while dealing with alcohol or ever. I can find a less intense job in my field but it might be a bit mind numbing. maybe it’s feeling disappointed, like I’m not performing as well as expected that turns into projection/complaining. Though that’s not to say that this job is not without its issues. Theres plus and minuses. I’m just tired- of all the negative thoughts, worrying about performance, worrying about taking part in meetings..

#6

Hey we all have those thoughts from time to time. I have a coworker who is fantastic at his job.. yet he worries constantly that we will all be fired for no reason. He shifts blame and complains, and frankly it is annoying.
I think it is awesome that you have the self awareness enough to notice some issues.. now you have the choice to work on them or abandon it. I am sure you will do the next right thing for you! Good luck.

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