Wow I am struggling so bad I can honestly say this is the worst couple of days especially today in almost 6 months of sobriety that I just want to get high but I know I can’t!!! I should’ve known better to get into a relationship being so fresh in sobriety and now my f…… heart is broken!!! I don’t know how to deal with it,to get over it?? I try to keep myself as busy as possible I barely sleep I barely eat but I didn’t drink or use( no relapses!!! )Please I just need help, honesty, advice and wisdom. I do have an amazing sponsor that I am just recently working with and I am going to meetings seven days a week even before all this BS!!!
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Hang in there Michelle! I know how hard it is. I went through something very similar. Just trust in the process and keep doing the next right thing. One minute, hour and day at a time. There is a plan for us even though we may not always like what that is. Focus on you and keep your head up! Things will get better than you ever thought possible!!
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It's simple. Keep it simple. Answer this question HONESTLY to yourself: Will a drink make anything better?
Until YOU BELIEVE that it won't, you will struggle like I did.
You need to be convinced that alcohol / drugs can no longer solve problems.
It's sad to say, but if it's an option for you, you've already lost...
, hi I think you're an amazing person for coming on here and opening up and being honest with your feelings my last relapse was due to a relationship issue like that and what I learned from it was you know and it took me a while to learn this that just give yourself some time like they suggest the amount of time like a year before you get into a relationship it is truly some good advice and I'm finally applying it to this sobriety but my advice would be just to reach out and help another alcoholic or addict it'll make you feel better and it'll get you outside yourself I love you and I hope you feel better
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John I have asked myself the question and absolutely not it will not make it any better nor will I ever do it that is my stance!!! I was just being honest no way no how am I going to relapse!
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Dog gone it gets sent without me finishing it… No it would make things so much worse I can’t even imagine!!! It absolutely is not an option and now I have not lost I continue to gain despite I’ve lost a boyfriend just a man. It could be so much worse… My children God for bid I even hate to say it much less think it
Be so proud of yourself for not relapsing and for going to the meetings, Michele.
Heartbreak quite obviously sucks…take it second by second if you need to.
Now you have the experience and knowledge for next time to wait longer prior to getting into a relationship.
I am relaying so with compassion, please know.
We are rooting for you.
Please keep us posted.
Keep reaching out and going to your meetings.
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Thank you Thomas that is very sweet and encouraging things you have said. I do realize that not everyone is going to be supportive for an optimist but that’s OK I did ask for honesty. Yes unfortunately it does take time unfortunately it’s not a light switch but I will persevere! Obviously you are a very understanding And a very compassionate person. Thank you love
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…the other thing I would like to share even if so may sound obvious?
Be sure that you are drinking plenty of water.
I do not know if you have tried meditation and / or breath work?
Other distractions, tools:
Walking. Exercise. Journaling. Sober podcasts, videos.
There are so many resources. Awesome job on not relapsing and attending your meetings, Michele!
Again. Heartbreak absolutely sucks while thankfully, everything in life is truly temporary…life itself is.
Play that tape forward. Do not pick up or use.
Using, picking up will make all of the pain a zillion times worse.
From experience, I know this!
Heartbreak sucks while giving up on your own self is the worst.
You can do this, these difficult things. You can, Michele!
How are you doing right now? I will not drink and / or use with you today, tonight, tommorrow.
Thank you Sarim, yes I am so proud of myself it is surreal!!! I deserve better and I will have better but in the meantime it’s just me.now I know better especially the first year is all about me and then if it’s meant to be the rest will follow. I absolutely do you go to meetings every day they are very helpful as well as this site I absolutely love it. Unfortunately I’m not on it a lot much less social media. Thank you love
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Social media is the worst, ha ha-well. It can be?!
You are inspiring, Michele.
I need to go to more meetings.
And yes, the whole being by ourselves while sustaining sobriety can really suck…my last partner ( five years ago, sheesh ) did not drink while our relationship was toxic.
I needed to leave.
He was not meant to be part of my path to / during sobriety.
This can suck while I cannot afford on so many levels to go back to drinking.
I feel that you get what I mean, yes?
Remaining sober beats the h-ll outta the h-ll I put myself and every else around me through.
I will go to meetings this week. Thank you, Michele!
Totally rooting for you, this self and everyone on this path of sobriety.
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Sweetie my advice is to go to a meeting every day. I always for the most part feel better when I leave granted there are some really undesirable boring as h…!!! so I avoid those. Do you meetings every day sweetheart I do mine. It’s all good nothing bad comes out of it. Thank you so much for your feedback you’re very sweet. Good night love
Good! When I think about the nightmare that is my life when drinking, everything seems small by comparison. The good thing in sobriety - we get our feelings back. The bad thing- we get our feelings back. Keep it up. A problem shared is a problem halved.
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Sending prayers for strength and healing and comfort to you
Trust in the promises also in your higher power when one door closes another one opens! If you pray 
pray more consistently. You got this
My goodness Michelle do you bring back memories. Most people who get into relationships in early sobriety end up in relapse. Been there, done that.
I met a woman in the program back in 1992. Against the advice of our experienced members, we too thought a relationship was the answer.
It wasn't!
They were 6 of the most miserable years of my life!
Today, that girl and I are friendly acquaintances in the program, doing things the right way this time.
The good news is that you haven't relapsed. Learn from it and move on. We don't come into the program because we have so much to offer others. We're here because we need help.
1, 2, 3 years from now you'll be seeing through a different set of lenses.
I highly recommend that you concentrate solely on sobriety for at least the 1st year. You're a beautiful young woman so watch out for all the 13 steppers.
In due time you can get involved with activities that spark your interest. Mr. Right will come along when you're not even looking. That's what happened to me.
I met my wife by accident online in 2015. We video chatted for 2 1/2 years before we met in person.
I brought her over here from the Philippines 2019 and now we've been married for 4 years.
Best decision I ever made!
It's amazing how we make better decisions when our heads are free and clear.
It sucks but you can do it
When I stopped drinking compulsively the compulsion tried to find new people places and things to act on. They told me whatever we put before our sobriety will be the the first to go. That doesn’t mean you won’t find a good relationship, when you’re ready it will find you!
There’s already been very good advice
Personally, but I honestly do is imagined myself taking that drink, and then say to myself, then what?
I honestly know that drink won’t fix anything and now I’m gonna beat myself up over the fact I took the drink
and then I say well screw it why not have another drink
And so yet again begins the cycle and I have done that
and then you have to quit again and commit once to sobriety and it’s difficult
 so I just follow through where that one drink lead
Sadly it just leads to opening Pandora’s box
Hang in there
Do something good and nourishing for yourself
When all said and done, the problem that you were escaping from will still be there when you sober up. It’s not worth it. Stay strong and the days will get easier day by day.