Why We Yell?
(and what happens when we do)
When you are aggressive and yell or curse several things happen to people around you.
Those that hear you yell get upset even if it not directed at them. They are more likely to react to you by yelling back at you. Often the situation will escalate. No solution is possible when people are yelling because our brains can not resolve anything. When yelling we switch to fight or survival mode.
Why do people yell? Putting someone down and attacking them releases hormones like adrenaline. It makes them feel in control and powerful. It is a rush giving a boost of energy while also giving pain relief. It is a temporary stress release for the person yelling.
You may yell because there is a deeper feeling (such as depression or disrespect) you are unwilling to address. Yelling temporarily blocks that emotion from being addressed, but it is still there.
The more you yell, the more you WILL yell. Our brains are trained to recognize and learn patterns. Things that work well today, will continue to work well until you change. We are creatures of habit. Breaking a habit is hard.
It may not be your fault for yelling as If you were around people who yelled, you were 'trained' to yell.
The good thing is, once you acknowledge you may have an issue, you can start to change things. It is much harder to listen and patiently 'take' someone's yelling. At first it is hard to be quiet and not reply. It's not easy to be the bigger person, by being passive and walking away.
Learning to focus on your breathing during this time can both help you not yell and also train you to not react to someone else who is yelling.
Once you train yourself to do this you and those around you will find more peace. You strengthen your skills to to let things go and 'bounce off you'. You also feel good from by being the bigger person, which will allow you to be more humble. That may sound strange to some until they try it.
As you change, more opportunities open up for you. Eventually you associate with different people. The journey can be lonely at times, which is part of the process. You learn to be good with who you have become.
Or do nothing... pass what you do on to your friends, family and others you meet in your journey.
Personally, I choose to change. It was impossible for me not to change.
Now when I see someone else yell, I watch them. I realize I looked as ugly as they do when I yelled myself.
Why am I sharing this? Because I care... I guess I learned from my journey though life... Recent events reminded me of my past. So wanted to make an effort to help those that yelled like I once did understand why they may yell. Maybe have them consider a different path. Maybe replace some bad habits with some better ones?
Here is some science:
When you lose your temper your amygdala, the emotional alarm center of the brain, overrides rational thought and floods your system with stress chemicals that keep you reactive for hours.
When you resist the impulse and instead pause or choose calm your prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for logic and self-control, strengthens its connections and reshapes your brain over time, making it easier to think clearly, stay balanced, and avoid being controlled by fleeting emotions.