First week of this month I almost had 90 days but relapsed. Finally told my sponsor last Saturday and we came up with a plan for me to quit last Monday. That only lasted until Wednesday & I've been using since. Nobody knows. Sponsor thinks I've been clean a week now but it's really only been 3.5 hrs. I desperately don't wanna use anymore; I just don't see me waking up tomorrow and it not being the first thing I instinctively do, but ima try my absolute hardest. Needing support, prayers, convos, distractions, whatever ya got.
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First, relapse is always part of recovery and I understand the anxiety your facing but take a moment and remember this is one day that will pass you by and you’ll be a stronger person tomorrow. But I would recommend be honest with your support system and not carry this guilt with you anymore. I don’t know if my advice will help but I wish you nothing but the best of luck.
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Tell your sponsor immediately and get the support you need.
I disagree somewhat with 'relapse always being a part of recovery ". Actually, I think it's complete büllshit. I would say that relapse is UNFORTUNATELY a part of relapse for SOME PEOPLE. Saying that it's always part of something basically makes it seem like it's inevitable/okay. It's not okay, relapse could kill us.
Like the other guy said, be honest with your sponsor so that she csn help you. No need to carry that guilt around and live that way It's hard to get clean like that.
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Praying for ya, keeping pushing, you got this!
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Stay strong girl!! Those demons are evil and destructive!! My inbox is always open!! WDR😘
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Building that connection of sober support has been the most important part of my recovery. Having people I can call on late at night when I'm feeling the worst and having the worst cravings and I know will answer and help talk me through it has been such a huge asset. It's the hardest thing we've ever had to do and it takes a daily commitment no matter how long we've been clean. Reach out to people on here there are a lot of people that will take the time to talk with you and be a distraction and offer their experience, strength and hope
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I wouldn't have done it without checking myself into detox,
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I am so glad you have a sponsor. Honesty is the best policy, and 9 times out of 10 they know of the relapse, they’ve been there/done that so they recognize the signs. Hang in there, and give yourself some grace. I’ll be thinking good positive thoughts.
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In my spiritual journey I relapsed a lot which does happen but doesn’t have to.
When I’m doubt give a shout.
First is WE you’re not a lone.
Lean into God or higher power.
Lean into the women who you surround yourself with including your sponsor.
You’re not a lone anymore many people empathize with you and can honestly say..
“Yeah? Me too “
Or
“Yep. Been there.”
For me I’m an all star drinker half a star thinker.
I’ll let we help me
With my thinking.
Keep going 
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Just 1 day at a time … I’ve had many relapses since I tried stopping in 2020. I always beat myself up over them but was told if I focus of the things I already done and can’t change then I’m gonna keep going downhill , keep ya head up and look ahead .. u can do it
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Relapse doesn’t have to be part of recovery. Subscribing to that gives you permission to relapse. Be rigorously honest about the relapse, recommit; 90 in 90. Make your sobriety THE SINGLE most important thing. Maybe first get into treatment so you can be medically detoxed and have a foundation when you get out! It WILL WORK! Godspeed
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Hello Allie, John S here, recovering addict. Plug into Zoom and make a meeting, or attend a face to face. Try not to be by yourself in the beginning, if at all possible. Do you have a support group, besides your sponsor? If not, start building one now! WE recover together.
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Thanks Jeffrey! That's actually a pretty feasible idea that I hadn't considered about the bupropion. I've already got it prescribed but quit taking it a week before the relapse started. I think I'll incorporate it back in today. Appreciate the support!
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Just keep moving... relentless forward progress... this isn't an easy road to take... it's not unreasonable for u to stumble or need help keeping to the straight 
... just keep ur head up...it took me 15 years to find whatever it was to make the final stop. But I know I can fall down too stay positive and keep going!
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I am praying for you too. You have joined a great app/group for support. I look forward to my A.M. and P.M. check ins. Stay connected and continue to work at it. You got this!
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I’m 68 days no alcohol today. Started on Thanksgiving day 2022. I was so freaking hung over this whole holiday celebration. I couldn’t even eat the Turkey 
my 16 yr old found me passed out on the toilet.. Yay Mom:roll_eyes:
You got this girl!! I’m pulling for you:raised_hands:
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I sent you a friend request. Please reach out if needed. You’re not alone.
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I completely agree, Relapse could kill us. and it’s not cool when people make relapse ok or not a big deal. I mean don’t blow it up and beat yourself up too much and dwell. You slipped up but you can get back up again even stronger this time !
Group therapy rlly helped me out, being with a therapist and others who are going thru the same thing as me, I learned a lot about myself and addiction. Maybe it could help you. Or even switching to a different sponsor.
Stay safe. You deserve peace and sobriety
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Yess ! Preach
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We’re all here for you! I’m Anthony and I’m an alcoholic and cocaine abuser. 50days sober and putting in the work needed to finally be free from the “bondage of thy self”
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