I Have been abusing substances ( alcohol, pot, and weed ) for most of my life and I've never been able to stop for any period of time. Lately, I've been establishing boundaries with my using associates, which has them hostile and unable to accept healthy boundaries like accountability and reciprocity. Meth keeps me functioning, poorly as it may be. I start my day at 4 AM juggling my 3 addictions to try to be a semblance or normalcy. Take that and factor in Bipolar 1 and I wonder why life has become a repetitive maze, punctuated be brief periods of terror and long days and nights of shame and boredom. There must be a solution
Hello Roy, glad you're here man. I may not have the most wisdom, but it sounds like you want to escape these addictions and that is a great place to start. It would probably be helpful to try starting your day reading a few quotes or poems from authors you like, and setting up some tiny goals just for the day. Also if you can come up with a missing statement for the rest of your life, and outline how you will grow into fulfilling that missing. Again, glad you're here brother.
Yes there is a solution. When I’m in a dark place in my life and or confusion, I read a daily reflection and I’ve started diving into my big book, just one day at a time and write down ideas and or plans that you want to accomplish in life.
Hi Roy, you may want to consider going into detox or rehab. Quitting those substance’s can be very dangerous health wise. Also, it gave me time away from normal life and they taught me tool to use to establish boundaries. Keep your head held high and one step at a time.
Like others have suggested, I think rehab would be great for you. Getting away from it all could be that break you need to get you going on a new sober journey
ality
Every day is an opportunity brother. I meant mission, not missing above. Let's make today count!
You may want to go to a treatment center, and just go from there. I know this feeling oh so well but you just stay strong and just take it one day at a time Roy!
I have too. So much depends on it.
Thank you, Sheena. Maybe I do need treatment again. It's been 8 years. I used to be sober and useful. I need sober people in my life. I have a meeting with my new sponsor Wednesday, and need to be sober that night for a meeting. Thanks for your support. I sometimes feel I don't deserve it, but I want it.
I will ask for this. I definitely am failing trying this alone. I need a new start. Thank you.
Yes, today must count. Starting now, at 1:28 AM. Thanks. I must make my mission getting right with God and man. I am stagnate, negative, and destructive. All my friends are in the same boat, not any wanting to get off, it seems.
Excellent point, I need boundaries. Thanks
Good practical information need to start writing.
Hopefully you can make some new friends that share fun and productive interests with you, like the gym or service work.
Good morning Roy
Are you currently going to a 12 step program?
Hello Joshua
I appreciate your wisdom. It's time I listen. I started today with reading out of the NA book and "Living Clean". A chapter a day. I'm going to call another addict today. I probably will attend a virtual meeting today. Tomorrow I have a meeting, and am going to have a talk with my sponsor there. I need to plan everything out, or I'll relapse again. I do want to overcome these addictions, and learn a new, accountable way of life. This app has enabled me to reach out and make a start. It's been going on for 44 years, with a few intervals of sobriety. I have to set some very firm boundaries; I can count the number of sober friends on 1 hand. It's all around me. I need to focus on recovery, exercise, learning to be a person I can respect. I want recovery bad. I am on many Facebook recovery groups, and I have developed A healthy envy and respect for these people. I appreciate you're concern so much; none of my addict "friends" has ever even told me that I should at least cut down. They profit on my addiction. Starting again, again; it feels great. Now I will make recovery my highest priority. I want to live, be a part of something good, and cultivate healthy relationships. Thanks again, and I look forward to corresponding with you and others on Loosid.
Yes. I have started back going to AA, virtually and in person. I have a lot of time; addiction has made me disabled. I have support from my Dad, a kind case worker, and support apps like Loosid and Facebook recovery groups. I am reaching out. I want what I see and hear from all of you. I am setting firm boundaries, and I am making a tentative itinerary before I go to sleep. I am reading, and calling someone in recovery daily. I have a wonderful, patient sponsor who told me to go to meetings even in my addiction. I am tired of being 5thought unaccountable by people I respect. It's a whole new life. I appreciate your response and am listening to all of you. Many thanks.
Have you worked the 12 steps??? if not It would be awesome. If you tried to work the steps, they have changed my life. 
Wisdom... I read daily reflections, the NA book, "Living Sober", and am trying to be around like-minded people who will hold me accountable.