Afraid to seek mental help due to costs and medications.
To be frank, becoming dependent on something or someone is really beeping scary to me. I’ve seen first hand the effects of depression/anxiety meds and it’s not pretty.
SOS
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Hydroxyzine. Non addictive antihistamine that can be used to treat anxiety. Google it. I hit a bumpy patch during the early days of the pandemic & it helped. Find a place to volunteer if you have a little spare time. It can help you get out of negative headspace. Calm app or headspace app - try to begin & end your day w meditation. You can prob find an online therapist that could be a bit more reasonably priced. Good luck, Katie💪
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Thanks Freddy. I think I’ve heard of the hydroxyzine before. Google will be my friend tonight! Appreciate ya.
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Does it scare you more than using illicit drugs or alcohol. It will at least be controlled by a physician. Hopefully someone you trust.
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100% yes it does. Or at least to the same degree. I’m finding there’s no middle ground.
As someone who hates doctors and years of trying to figure it out on my own I can say that medicine absolutely helps if you need it. I hate that I take medicine absolutely despise it. But at the end of the day im a nicer human with it. It’s a non narcotic plus some counseling and exercise and eating healthy. And of course no drugs or alcohol.
But Ask your doc about non narcotic medicine and a list of therapists. I tried a lot on my own and I really cut myself a break when I went to the Doc .. I also have a pretty large group of ppl that can attest for the difference not just by the medicine alone but the medicine helped me more than I thought it would.
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Mindfulness and daily meditation are good free ways to help handle anxiety. Running works great for me too. Feeling soun up? I go for a run! I've been hearing and afraid of antidepressants too. If you can see a doc, hope they'll talked time to work through it. There are SO many, and they all work with our chemistry so differently. I hope you find some relief!
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I don’t mess with anti depressants tho. Mine more for panic attacks. I couldn’t handle them after I stopped using/drinking. I can fight depression. I can’t handle panic attacks tho. Lol
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I am with you on this one! It’s my anxiety and dang self talks I have with myself. Blows my mind! And then I get physically sick from it. 
For me I would just be walking in the store minding my own business and I would have a panic attack. When I first stopped using I expected it to happen but after time went on and it would still happen for no real reason .. my mind was messed up.. still is but it’s getting better for sure.
Thanks for sharing. You know the saying that goes “you know what you need to do, you just need to do it!”? That’s me. And it’s driving me bonkers. 
I don’t have any experience with meds, so I don’t have any specific advice or recommendations regarding medications. However, I’ve been in and around recovery for many many years. There are many opinions on this topic, including the founders of AA that took the time to write about this topic in the Big Book. Bill W himself suffered from severe depression and anxiety. Bottom line is you should seek out help if it’s needed. Just be honest with yourself and your doctors. It’s normal that you’re scared. You should be. You know you have a history of addictive behaviors, so of course you’re concerned. Be smart. Take it slow. Trust your intuition. Be mindful of your recovery ODAAT 
❤🩹
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I think it's pretty common to not want to be on meds, I think most people don't want to need meds... I understand meds are scary, but they're probably better than what you're currently doing. Many psychiatric meds are not mind-altering either, so you don't need to worry about physical addiction. If you find something that works for you it can be like night and day. I take an ssri that improves my mood, seems to help with cravings, and s** drive... yes, an ssri... I couldn't believe it lol. Also, something to consider, meds can get help you through the hard stuff, early recovery, doesn't mean you'll need them forever.
My anxiety pretty much disappeared when I stopped eating processed foods, most foods with added sugar, and gluten. I also exercise daily.
If your newly sober, there's a squirrel cage going on inside your head. It's pretty much normal. I'd like to tell you a story.
When I was newly sober around 2003 I decided to seek counseling from a psychologist. After speaking with the psychologist she tried to tell me that I was clinically depressed. She prescribed some medications and I started to take them. About 2 or 3 weeks into taking this medication, being a student of aviation at the time, I learned that if I take any antidepressants or anxiety medication I would be temporarily disqualified from qualifying for my medical card.
A medical card is something you have to possess in order to fly airplanes. I decided right then and there that I was not going to allow that to interfere with my plans to fly.
Against the advice of the psychologist I immediately threw the antidepressants out and drank a lot of water every day and eventually, through the help of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and going to a lot of meetings I suddenly was no longer depressed and have since then experienced the quality of life like anyone else.
One thing I have seen through the years is that this business of diagnosing people with depression, anxiety, bipolar and anything else I forgot to mention has become increasingly popular with the medical community and people that are newly sober.
They all have medication tied to them. And people I know who have been taking medication for whatever their problem is, it seems like it has presented them with several challenges.
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I take hydroxyzine as well and it sure helps to get through stuff. And no it’s not habit forming.
Hey Katie! Just saw your sos and I added you as a friend.
What’s got your wanting to seek mental health? I ask because I was once at a cross roads with that. And all, you can message me if you’d like and I can tell you about my experience.
I wanna help so I hope everything is okay
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I take meds for depression and anxiety and I don’t drink
Well first off, I pray for you. The dividend of the sanction was esoteric and I want to help understand the function of water. It’s very paradise when it comes replacing the habit of abusing narcotics. Try speculating the inner mantra of its astrological seance. Try it. Let me know how it works out for u!
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Wouldn’t ya know! Lol I stopped eating all that junk 13 years ago…