After being 5 and a half months sober I had a couple slips . I felt horrible after the first time . I beat myself up about it .. but then I started to try and see the positives. Before my slip when I would drink it wouldn’t be a one night thing it would be a bender . I didn’t drink the next day and I went to an AA meeting . 5 days later I gave in an had a glass of wine at dinner . No desire to continue drinking until I blacked out or did I feel the need to drink the next day . This maybe a stupid question but is it possible after taking a break from drinking that if you start drinking again your relationship with alcohol can change ? Has anyone else experienced this ?
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I have done this for years. Personally I now feel I'm just better off not drinking at all. It effects my willpower and decision making too much. It all depends on your goals moving forward.
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Not for me it wouldn’t work. I am sure I could get away with it for a little while…but I know that demon all too well! It is a patent demon that will wait until it has a foothold, and then it pounces. For me drinking wasn’t about the alcohol, it was the oblivion I could reach by using it. My mind is clear, and more importantly my soul is clean. I don’t have the worry of what I did, who I hurt, are the cops going to be pounding on my door today. I can be honest about my intentions and my actions. I could get away with it I am sure… but I am not going to chance it.
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So to be honest I use all drugs or did and no my thoughts were always I can have one or get hammered up once a week and then slowly it turns to a disaster it might take a year or two but eventually for me I'm right back in the s#$& so I would say let it be surround your self with positive people I know it's hard I can't seem to find anyone unless I am using or going to bars but our recovery is at stake and you have to just accept that that's our weakness
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Hi! I’m studying psychology and recently took a class on addiction, and there were several examples of people who had problematic drinking behavior, abstained for over a year or so, and with careful guidance and working together with their therapist they were able to find a healthy relationship with alcohol, so there is hope for that! Personally, I’ve done the back and forth dance of wanting to quit/wanting to find balance with alcohol for about 10 years and found that I am just not the type who can do that and feel so much better being completely free of it. I was a binge drinker, but had no problem abstaining for dry Jan/diets etc. but when I drank I went hard, and even when working on finding balance and cutting back, I would always end up right back in my old patterns of drinking till I black out every time. But that is just me. Everyone’s brain is wired very differently so who knows!! If you are able to restructure your relationship with alcohol and include it in a healthy way I applaud you my dear❤️
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Also I’m only three months in, and though this is the longest I’ve ever gone, I’m sure I’ll encounter some speed bumps along the way. But so far, SO good:smiling_face_with_three_hearts: I’m keeping my fingers crossed and doing everything I can to stay focused on the life I want:crossed_fingers:
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Anything is possible but as you know in the Big Book it states it gets worse never better
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Thanks everyone so much for the advice . But like they say this disease is cunning , baffling and powerful . I’m not going to take these slips and how I feel after as a renewed relationship . I think for myself I should error on the side of caution . And keep going to meetings and take it one day at a time . This diseases has brought me to my knees more times then I would like to admit . And I know I’m powerless against it alone
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Oh trust me my life spiraled out of control and I have the history of drinking and driving that it led me to prison. I say that just don't take the 1st drink. Our 1st thought is to want it but then as time goes by it sounds like a good idea but I know where I'll end up. Eventually our lives fall into a destructive place. So these little slips are part of your road. But it doesn't have to be that way. I would think what happened a few days before you even picked up.
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A lot of us have been there. I have too. I had a glass and said “ok that was good, now just a seltzer please.” Then it turned into 2 glasses of wine, then 3. It wasn’t long after the thought of 2 glasses that I was back to full blown blackouts. The thought to have 1 was just dangerous for me because while it did last a bit, it definitely caused me to think I could have 2, and from there it snow balled into many. I’m a binge drinker, so that little thought of “well why not tonight?” was just waiting to take a hold. Once that night happened, it was game on… or I guess game over?
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It’s such a slippery slope - one I just couldn’t seem to ever get a handle on. Any time I went back to drinking I’d ease back in & think I had it under control. I had so many RULES. No more than two drinks a night. No more than two nights a week. Never two days in a row. Something would always pop up that conveniently gave me the green light to break my rules. Honesty, at this point, I’m glad to have retired my jersey. Good luck!
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Willpower just goes out the window that's all. You had five and a half months and then slipped. And then a short time later you slipped again. You're in good company. You're not the first and you won't be the last. You just have to feel enough pain to get with the program.
We have to learn to play the scene forward. What happens when you drink? You might feel some relief for a very short period of time but sooner or later you are right back where you are right now carrying around more guilt realizing that you accomplished absolutely nothing.
I call this believing the big lie.
Also, did you make any phone calls before you slipped? It's a good idea to build a support group that will be there for you in times of desperation.
I've been sober a long time but I still call my sponsor a few times a week.
In 2011 I had almost 9 years of sobriety when I relapsed. It cost me 3 years of total oblivion before I came crawling back into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous.
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I'm in the same boat going on 6 months sober and a blackout drunk. My history with alcohol goes back 30yrs. I knew I had a problem in my mid to late 20's (I'm 44 now) then the last 5yrs I felt I had better control over it would only have a few at dinner and wouldn't come home to polish off another bottle. I could stop at 3-4 have a nice buzz and wake up no hangover. What I realized is I can be good 90% of the time. But 10% I didn't have control of. And nvr knew when it would happen. That pattern will never stop!! If you can stay strong with one day at a time sober.
My mind is also playing tricks on me lately also, like I told myself I'll never say i won't drink ever again, but I'll never drink and drive again. But drunk Lisa has no self control. Sober Lisa knows that. Bottom line stay away from drinking. 
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I think we are all trying to change our relationship with booze drugs whatever you’re addicted to
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For years I wanted so badly for it to be true that I could take breaks and then ultimately develop a healthy relationship to alcohol, but it never worked. I’ve never met anyone who was able to go from having a problem with drinking to eventually being a healthy drinker. Not saying it’s impossible, but highly improbable.
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Your story is my story. I drink 1 day and that 1 drink turns 2 a 3month bender. And the beer tastes worse to me every time I stop and start up again and feel kinda sick. So going all in to stop completely no more oh just this 1 won't hurt. It Does.
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I understand where your coming from … I have had a few slip up the last few months and now I’m 75 days sober … I think what did it for me was getting kicked out and sleeping in my car and not being able to see my daughter for 2 days …. Don’t beat yourself up , stay strong
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I am about 32 months sober. Before that I was about 6 or so. I was so upset ashamed. Someone told me that I hadn’t wasted anything for me that 6 months was a win. I got a peek at sobriety and when I came back I was truly willing.
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It’s the insanity of our minds. It’s says in the book talking about how we can try all we want to be normal drinkers… but sadly we cannot achieve this. Our brain try’s to trick us into thinking we have a control of it but that’s us going back to our insanity.
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When I thought I could drink responsibly again, which I thought I could and failed at numerous times, I was able to keep it to one or two drinks a day for a few days, sometimes weeks, but I always eventually ended up at the liquor store early in the morning shaking and praying that it would open and finding a new low that I'm lucky my higher power guided me back to detox from. I'm not sure I'll make it back if it happens again.
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