Mind over mater. Stay away from anyone or anything that might trigger you. Go to a meeting. Get numbers call them.
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I’m a cocaine addict. I had to change everything about my life. Set goals. I had nothing when I went to rehab no job no school no friends. I ended up pregnant and went back to school got a job and focused on staying so busy I couldn’t use. I relapsed 9 months after having my son and went full force into meetings, group therapy and finding a sponsor. Almost 2 weeks clean and 2 days off drinking. You can do it! It takes a lot of work but if you want it you will achieve it.
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Online NA meetings use webcam for everybody or anybody that wants to share. You can also ask for sponsors there and some are happy to help. They have lots of time to help.
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I had a severe cocaine addiction for 2 years straight. It destroyed everything in my life and almost killed me. The hardest part in recovery for myself has been letting go of the past. It is the past and nothing can change what happened. All you can do is try to better yourself today and then the next. Until you let go of what you’re holding onto you will never be able to move toward what you want in the future. Peace and love
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I'm the exact same way right now with meth. I'm getting both my kids in a week and still can't stop using. I'm for sure at my bottom emotionally. I don't know how to go up from here and I do not wanna go back to treatment.
I use the gym as my replacement. It doubles as meditation and a rage release. I go first thing in the morning so I have to be fresh. I don't know if thay will help you but it does a lot for me! If you need someone to talk to, just reach out. I need to talk to someone who understands what this is like too.
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Buckle up it can be a emotional first year. Always talk to your doctor. First cousin to addiction is depression.
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Matt,
Very true for me as well. Anna what Matt said, you have to let go of what’s eating you and find new friends in AA or NA. Everyone’s sobriety is different, you will need to find what works for you but you can only do that if you get to meetings and get rid of your so called friends.
I lost everything and thank god my family was there for me. I did jail time for dui and took 2 trips to rehab to realize I was in control of my problem and was exhausted from dealing with it. Our bottoms are all different. I’m 3 years sober and still make my bed just like I did in rehab everyday and remind myself where I have came from. You can do it. Meetings and a good day is a day you don’t use.
I relapsed 3 times this year. I say I won’t get high or buy cocaine but then I found myself using it again. I am currently in an inpatient and I’m going to longer care after here. I’ve lost everything. My 6 year relationship and a decent job. I quit my other 2 jobs because they were triggers.
Cocaine and oxy are my DOC. I am on methadone for the opioid so that really helps with both. I do know if I put myself around anyone I used with I want the cocaine very bad. As long as I stay away from the people and places I used with I’m good. I am also keeping myself very busy with IOP and recovery cafe. I have taken to adult coloring as my new addiction. I have over 300 gel pens and about 15 coloring books. I color like crazy when I’m craving and also sound myself with sober friends and family at all times. I’m not ready to be alone so I make sure I’m with people that don’t use especially when I’m craving
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Usually we have three phases to go through in recovery : admitted, accepted, and probably the most interesting one: surrender. For me, I learned surrender. Now I'm over a year sober after two or three years and multiple rehabs ... I learned surrender.
I’d suggest AA or NA and go all in
Maybe you can take a look at what you have lost.. your heart and soul included, then ask yourself, “am I done or should I keep doing research on how this miserable existence ends?”
There has to be a desire.. if you have that desire it just might be time to surrender to win or you can keep doing research 
I guarantee that you will either get the same results or it will progress. Ultimately it’s your choice.
Give recovery a chance and it will give you a chance 
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Go to a meeting of narcotics anonymous, the experts on how to stay clean are in those rooms. I promise you will not regret going! Find a local meeting.
After years of choosing cocaine to cope, survive, and deal with life, it took me working the 12 steps, going to meetings every day, working with my sponsor, being of service to others, humbling myself, and doing what was suggested to get to a point I no longer wanted it or chose it. I chose recovery on a daily basis. There is no easier way
Cocaine fueled my alcoholism in a big way. I had to divorce, leave ALL my friends and move. That’s what it took for me, to separate myself completely from anyone using. Best wishes
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Pray, I pray several times a day. I changed my Persons, Places And things that may contribute to triggers. I have been sober a month on my own but not longer. I try to go for walks with someone so I won’t stray off. Meditation has been helping staying focused.
Cocaine and alcohol were my drugs of choice and became the crutches I thought I couldn't walk without. It took years of relapsing and then finally in patient rehab, 90 AA meetings in 90 days, a thorough 12 step program. I also had to leave everything behind for a few years and start a new life - I took a new job that had me traveling out of the area and away from people, places and things that were part of the road that almost lead to my death. I am almost 6 years clean and sober and I'm proud of the new life I have built - and I've slowly been able to rebuild relationships that I wasn't sure I could ever have in my life again.
Get yourself a sponsor and rely on them to hold you accountable. Tell on yourself. Do not isolate and know that you are worth everything you will find at the end of that long white line.
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Sponsor and step work is a great place to start.
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