My recent slip up has me thinking and reflecting a lot on my life. Anyone been through a divorce after getting sober? Was it messy and awful like I fear it will be? Or did it happen amicably? I have so many thoughts going through my head and am having trouble “playing the tape through” to see the other side.
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I haven’t been divorcing thru attempts at sobriety but I have been rebuilding whilst being sober. It’s been hard enough on its own. What I do know is you can only control yourself and how you act and react to things. Try to keep yourself and what you need in focus. Work whatever program or steps you have, pray/meditate and trust in the people around you. You are not alone.
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Breathe
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Yep I got divorced at 6 months sober. It was a horrid nightmare 
. But I’m so glad I stayed sober through it all and it’s all behind me.
I realized I was a horrible husband. As a struggling relapsing addict, i had to change my entire life. That included my marital status. I probably had no business getting married in the first place.
Everyone’s path is their path and they create their own experiences. We have to figure out what we truly want, then take the ACTIONS to manifest it.
Being sober was the 1st step towards that. We are responsible for our own happiness.
Just sharing my experience.
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Yes. I got divorced after finally getting some sobriety time under my belt. It’s a difficult transition, especially if there are children involved, but it was one of the best choices I made, outside of getting sober. Hang in there.
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I’m sorry to hear this is going on my friend. I went through a divorce after getting sober. Ups and downs, I’ll chat with you about it if you want. I’m thinking of you through this time.
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Yes. Not a pleasant experience. However, I worked my program and stayed sober thru it all. One day at a time. It actually worked out better than I imagined it would. I cannot see going through it without the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Playing the tape through refers to the consequences of drinking. Otherwise it’s future-tripping.
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I would highly recommend daily prayer and meditation, getting into some sort of 12-step program, getting a sponsor, and working all 12 steps of that program. I never know what God has in store for me, so things that I perceive to be horrific at the time, have always turned out to be blessings as it is always part of God's plan for me in my life.
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My 56 year old husband left me for a 19 year old After I got sober - I’ve realized in nearly 21 months, I have changed EVERYthing that came before and that’s ok - and not as overwhelming as it sounds - I am new and better, clean, proud, calm and at peace
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OMGosh - you are a soldier! Hat off to you my dear 
I went through a divorce because of my addiction. I was able to stay clean, because I did not want my disease to be part of the problem any more than it already was. Put your recovery first during the divorce, and try to be amicable. We were able to use a mediator instead of lawyers, and my ex and I consider ourselves family today. Our rationale when we divorced was that we loved each other for a long time - why be nasty/selfish. Good luck!
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Yes I'm going through a divorce and I have a week and a half sober you can do this, and yes you will feel fear but not being with someone you were with everyday and idk your situation but mine was my wife slept outside of our marriage and I've felt alot of abandonment, my whole marriage was a lie. So I just try too sit alot in pryer and just tell myself I can only control me.
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Thank you for your feedback. I wasn’t using “play the tape forward” as an AA term, it’s a term my counselor and I use to talk about anxiety and seeing how situations could end up if we play it through.
I would like to start attending some meetings. they aren’t during “convenient times” for him to watch our son, so that will have to be a separate conversation I have with him.
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Allie-I got home from rehab last week. After 3 days of being home my wife of 21 years told me she wanted a divorce. Her and my 18 year old daughter are moving out of state. I’m having to stay sober through it all, and it’s by far the most painful thing I’ve experienced. Difficult to put one foot in front of the other but somehow I’m doing it. If you want to talk please don’t hesitate to reach out.
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Oh wow, Travis my heart breaks for you and I am so sorry. I extend the same invitation to you, please know I am here to talk.
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I am going to try. It will take some convincing as meetings in my area happen a lot during my son’s waking hours, which my spouse will say is ‘inconvenient’ which has deterred me from going in the past.
Thanks Allie 
- sent request to you!
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There are meetings held at the top of the hour, every hour of every day. Granted, they are via Zoom but for anyone struggling to find a convenient time to get to a meeting, it is better than nothing. I would gently explain to your husband that this is to ensure long-term sobriety and that without sobriety everything else crumbles in my life. Some spouses are understanding, and others aren't so much but we have to play the cards we are dealt. I'm praying for you, and hope that you find the peace and serenity that so many of us here have! 
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Thank you Andrew. I really appreciate it. I did just download the AA meeting guides app today so I am one step closer 
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In a bind I have taken my kids with me to a meeting. Not ideal, but it sure beats subjecting my kids to a drunk father.