CD 8/2/2025
Currently expecting twins, which is what pushed me into sobriety. Its been more than just a struggle. My partner said he would join me on my journey with sobriety. Hes had some set backs that I knew about. But now hes hiding it. Im struggling with not using. Im struggling not working. And im beyond hurt he’s hiding it and spending big money on it when i cant even put fuel in my vehicle. I dont know how i will do this on my own but I do know i cant do this anymore.
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I think you know the answer to that question. Unfortunately we have to make really tough decisions in order to keep our sobriety first.
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AJL, I’m going to be honest and frank with you and I hope you understand I’m coming from experience and unconditional love for children.
To answer your question. Yes 2 recovering addicts that are clean can have a functional relationship. However, over the decades of being in and around the program, I’ve never seen active addicts have a functional relationship. When one of those recovering addicts relapses, it’s an endless cycle of pain and suffering. Sadly the kids suffer the most.
As an expecting mother the responsibility falls on you to stay clean and that is nearly impossible when your man is using. So get rid of him right now! Keeping him around will only bring you down too.
There are programs available for women in your situation.
I’m here if you want to talk
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Thanks for sharing, that's real. If you can, find a support system that won't lie to you. I don't want to give advice because I don't know if it's my place, but I know that's not a sustainable family. You have to eat.
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Ur sobriety needs too come before nething. I understand ur both expecting twins but u have too focus and do wats best for u. Life isn't going too stop and wait around for him. Especially so early in recovery, that's a lot of weight too have on ur shoulders. And u can't force him to do it he should want it bad enough for himself that way he can be there for u the way that u need him too be. That's jus my honest opinion.
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I was in a relationship early recovery. We both had nearly the same sobriety date.
After 6 months of sobriety he relapsed. I continued doing my program.
I did…..
Meetings everyday. I had a sponsor and thoroughly worked ALL 12 steps. Got a God in my life. I then began sponsoring.
Unfortunately my boyfriend could only piece a few years together and had 3 more relapses. I was done and broke off the relationship. He ended up dying from his disease in the end.
By this time I had 7 years of sobriety. Kept doing at least 3 meetings per week, working steps 10-12 daily and continuing to help others.
I had two children from a previous marriage and they deserved a clean & sober mom. Permanently one day at a time. Sobriety and a God in my life is number one ALWAYS.
Before children, jobs, money, a man, everything.
I recently celebrated 31 years of sobriety. My husband just celebrated 39 years. I remarried at 10 years of sober and clean time. Our marriage works because we live and breathe recovery. We attend meetings nearly every single day, practice the steps in all our affairs and sponsor many others. Plus we both still have a sponsor or two. Our marriage is God centered.
Your babies deserve the best version of you. A mom who puts sobriety above them. For if you aren’t sober, it will lead to jails, institutions or death.
You have no idea what your boyfriend will or will not do. Only 1 in 10 make it.
Which one are you going to be?? Best wishes 
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If he's still using you're phuq'd. Be prepared for total chaos, separation, a lot of DV and game playing.
My suggestion is to get out and be prepared to rear the offspring by yourself. Look at the big picture... Do you want them to be like him or like you. It's a scary thought however a thought you need to consider.
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Maybe a break will wake him up and get him truly on board with quitting. People cant generalize what will happen since not one person is the same. Is say a conversation that he goes to mommas til he cleans up. You know him better than any of these people. And when I quit 5 years ago I had a whole lot of people betting against me too!
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Idk. Im in that situation and its hard. I dont want to hurt anyone but I want to be happy to
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I appreciate that thank you. I honestly never thought that I would have an issue, I was always able to recreationally use and insane life changing circumstances happened and what was just a good time turned into a life crippling habit that I have to learn to live with every single day. I know that I have more of a problem with it than he does and I think I have some resentment towards him for that which isn’t fair. I appreciate the response I didn’t mean to ramble on here
Praying for you and sending you strength 
I feel like a hypocrite begging him to stop. I was willing to throw away everything for my addiction, and thank the lord I did get pregnant because it most likely saved my life. But it’s been an extreme struggle for me. I know he will spiral out of control if I left and then I’d blame myself
1st Tradition in Both NA and NA:
"Our Common Welfare Should Come 1st" Personal Recovery Depends On Either NA or AA
We CANNOT as Alcoholics and Addicts Take Care of Other's if We CANNOT Take Care of Ourselves....
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You’re right and have very valid points
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Congratulations on your sobriety! Your story is inspiring, I hope one day I can follow your lead 
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I appreciate that
I appreciate everyone’s responses. I’ve never been big on sharing but emotions have been getting the best of me. And finding his bag when I took his vehicle this morning was crippling for me and all I could think was I need help and a meeting. Thank you everyone
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I needed that reminder thank you
I actually had a twin brother that died from heroin after I tried so hard to make him stop and chased drug dealers and junkies off daily. But i wasn’t pregnant with his kids. I say take a break and think of him being a perfect version and whole complete and clean while he’s gone. And send updates of babies regularly to snap him out of this sh:star:t! I have faith he will be perfect for your family after a little break!
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My dad would always say "you've answered your own question kid" now that you know the facts you make the right decision. Always do the next right thing, reach out for help to me whenever you need. I know your agony. Much love to you and those littles.