I’ve been seeing someone I really like. He’s kind, we have common interests and I can really see myself with parts of him long term. The only problem is when he drinks he doesn’t know how to moderate. We’ve been seeing each other for a month and it seems like he’s getting drunk at least once or twice a week. He knows I don’t drink and has showed up to my house before drunk and with a 6 pack. I asked him if he ever considered cutting it out (because things are great when he’s not drinking) but he said he’s never thought of it and he thinks moderation is key (which’s he’s told me he is incapable of). He has a great heart and we’ve talked openly about drinking and we have the same triggers and struggles with anxiety so I feel bad not being there for him but I know if things don’t change it will cause a lot of issues down the line. Do I just end it or ask again if this is something he would consider changing ? And I know people need to decide for themselves but I feel stuck because I haven’t felt this way about someone in a while.
You said it yourself… “if things don’t change it will cause a lot of issues down the line”. With his drinking, He either stops or you start again.
There’s no in between. I learned the hard way last year. Except my ex was a closet alcoholic and hid it from me for 2-3 months. (I just thought that’s who he was, weird/crazy/wild/funny. Definitely NOT the case.)
Personally I’d stay clear of heavy drinkers if you want to stay sober. It’s your life, no one else’s. No matter how much we tell ourselves “we won’t drink”, it’s that much easier to get sucked back in. Best wishes to you!
Thank you so much Katie I really needed to hear this. You’re right, I’m already feeling it wear on me emotionally. It could just be a matter of time. Really needed these words of encouragement this morning ! Xo
Katie said it right. The path of easiest resistance is you end up drinking again. It will need to be an honest and frank conversation. You can still keep in touch and try to remain friends, but if you want to stay sober you’ll need to limit your time around him while he is drinking. Those rose tinted glasses, seeing him knock back a couple and the world not explode is going to soften your resolve. Doesn’t matter how strong you are. Eventually the little voice of, “one little drink won’t hurt” or “I’ve been sober for a long time, I’ve earned it” will worm its way in. It’s your brain. You know yourself best. Don’t eat the cake today that you’ll regret tomorrow.
Not in that situation, I wouldn't personally.
Thanks Bradley that was a great way to put it. I’ve already had those thoughts on a few occasions so I could imagine them just getting worse as time goes on.
You are welcome! And if you are already feeling the wrath, go with what your gut is telling you. Might be a funny way of someone above you giving you signs. 
I've been in a similar situation.when the honey moon phase ends and reality sets in will that lifestyle work with the lifestyle you are living now?
I also realized I was trying to help or fix someone else which was taking me back to the beginning of my program.it was a tough road to navigate through the first time and I didnt want to go thru it again. I had to draw a line that a relationship couldn't go any further at this time in my life.
Know your limits and boundaries and never compromise your self worth and value over someone else's choices.
Here here!
bangs water bottle against table*
From experience, this will only get worse. I was in a similar situation but with a drug addict. I thought he had a great heart. He needed me. But a year and a half later I have only gone down with him deeper than I ever have (with alcohol though). If he would only change. He may even give you empty promises to keep you around. Let him go. If he chooses to change revisit it then, otherwise it’s not meant to be. Your sobriety comes first.
The easiest answer is yes, but you can also go skydiving without a parachute. While you may survive it, is it worth the risk?
Thanks James, I’m glad you were able to get out of it. If I’m being honest with myself I guess a part of me was just holding onto how perfect it would be if he got sober. But he’s not there. Thanks for your advice
Thanks everyone, I really needed to hear this. It’s easy to get caught up when you’re in it but these words of encouragement have been very helpful
If you can only see yourself with parts of him long term, then it's not a viable long term option.
If being sober now you see a train wreck coming then I’d say draw back
Regardless of my sobriety, based off experience, I wouldn't date anyone that doesn't know their limits. Makes ya think what other impulsive lay within as well.
I can and have dated people that drink socially, and never had issues
You know the answer.
Depends on how important your sobriety is to you. You have to weigh the risks/reward.
My husband still drinks moderately but he never had a problem with it. It's possible but I think it would be difficult. It would be better if he wasn't a problem drinker but it sounds like he is unfortunately 
I’d say run for the stars lady! It’s like a toddler asking if he/ she can put its hands in the fire 
they know it’s hot and what it can potentially do and they still question it. No hun throw the water on that fire take a hit call your sponsor and quit the gitty up with that cowboy