I am 5 months sober after a bad relapse . Sobriety is my number one priority in life . 3 weeks ago without looking I met an amazing guy who I am able to be open and honest with about my struggle with substance use and he supports me 100 percent . He also does not drink or do drugs … he isn’t in recovery he just never had the urge to get into that stuff . I know in AA they say it is not suggested to date in your first year of recovery . Does anyone have any advice on this or can share what they experienced ? Thank you so much in advance 
4 Likes
I'm glad for you! The one year thing isn't some hard and fast rule, its a strong suggestion. Early recovery is hard (just past the one year mark myself). Emotional and physical relationships are easy to get lost in, because they can be a distraction in that they feel good and give us validation.
Just make sure your recovery and progress are your priority. Don't compromise your goals. Make sure that you are the most important thing in your life for the time being.
2 Likes
Healthy boundaries. Stick with them.
2 Likes
I relate to you. I was a chronic relapser for decades. I almost died several times last summer. I want to meet people like me outside of AA meetings! Know what I mean? I'm new here and am having trouble navigating this site. Can u help me a little?
Take care of yourself first. You'll know it when you're ready. It was about 15 months before I realized I had something to offer to someone else. We're all different. Just don't take on too much too soon.
That's great! I say take the advice that works for you. And leave the rest. In general I wouldn't dive too deep or too fast into anything as you grow in sobriety, but I wouldn't avoid a relationship that's healthy and sounds like a win.
2 Likes
Try friendship it's essential to the soul
1 Like
Idk I’d take it slow … are you emotionally ready?
I think it’s great to be authentic with another person and they support you. Everyone’s timeline is different. I’m almost at 15 months and still a bit apprehensive. Time and boundaries are everything. Wishing you the best!
3 Likes
Stop.
2 Likes
I’m not sure why my post from 6 months ago is popping up and getting commented on . It’s not even relevant to where I am at in my life at this point . So if it is annoying anyone I’m sorry I am not sure why it’s happening 
5 Likes
Because Jay is creeping the profiles of all women posting about struggle or dating, so he's digging up zombie posts.
3 Likes
Oh wow !! Thanks for the heads up . I really enjoy this app and the ability to connect to people who are like myself struggling with the disease of addiction it’s just unfortunate when you get people on here who take advantage of the app in that way
1 Like
How does this happen? There are sooooo many things about this app that need to be fixed.
1 Like
People being people. What can ya do?
1 Like
I'm willing to bet most people don't pay for the full service. I don't. If nobody pays, they can only put so much time in. We are fortunate that it's here at all, I think.
So here’s a good opportunity for those of us serious about recovery. How did it work out for you?
I ask because this is a common question/topic for those new to sobriety. No details or any of that needed. Simply, but was it ok? Did it interfere with your program? Hopefully you’re still sober regardless. ODAAT.
2 Likes
True true 
For me I am 11 months now into my recovery and the person I posted about originally 6 months ago is still in my life . He is my biggest cheerleader . But I had begun my sober journey before him . I believe you have to get sober for you and no one else . He is clear that my sobriety comes first . I still do all the “ do things “ with AA and my sponsor my relationship doesn’t interfere with that . He is just another person in my corner who wants the best for me and I feel that’s never a bad thing . Well all need that good energy and positive relationships
4 Likes
Your 1st year will be an emotional rollercoaster. This is just one of the many reasons I believe that not dating is recommended. During this time a lot is learned about self. Self discovery is such an important part of healing as well as recovery in general. A relationship will without doubt hinder this process. Not to say you can't have both, just that one, the most important of th3 two will undoubtedly suffer.
I would suggest that at the very least you plan days alone in order to still benefit as much as possible from this process. honestly 1 year wasn't enough for me. After 2 years I only began to appreciate self. 3 yrs in I was no longer what I wouod consider as co-defendant and could almost care less whether or not I was alone which I never saw coming but appreciate moreso than almost all of the rest of the "gifts" of sobriety. Now dating is not filling a void but rather coupling one good life with another. I don't feel the need to overlook red flags in order to feel complete. I am already complete on my own.
3 Likes