I’ve been sober the last 4 years and throughout that time I’ve been in a couple relationships. No one I’ve dated since I got sober has been sober too.
Being single again and looking for romance, I find it very challenging to approach sobriety/recovery in a newly forming relationship. People are adamantly understanding, and I’m very honest about my recovery. There is a lot of struggle though.
How do you approach sobriety while dating? Have you had a sober partner?
I want a sober partner in the worst way. Maybe we can get to know each other.
I definitely agree. I’m not sure if I was trying to inadvertently stay close to the lifestyle but the women I dated at the beginning of my sobriety had huge drinking/drug problems. I finally put my foot down and said no more of that. It’s hard to find many people who are sober at all. Now single as well wondering if I will be this way for good. Good luck to you!
I dated a couple guys that were in AA with me. One had less time and wasn’t as strong in his recovery and ended up relapsing. So my advice would be make sure they have a solid recovery too. Be sure not to care more about their recovery then they do.
This is great advice! Thank you for the insight!
It’s an appealing idea I agree.
Thanks brotha!
It is rough…. I’m having the same issue. Good luck!
Thank you 
Great insight! Thank you
Spoken like someone who’s been sober since 1991!! Congrats…and very well said
"Be sure not to care about their recovery more than they do." 
Thats the best single sentance deffense against codependancy Ive ever heard!
I have first hand experience with this . It sucks.
It sure sure does suck. Having those first relationships where one of you is gonna "save" the other from something is not required in early recovery but we sure act like it is...
Oh yes! First couple guys were the ones “I was gonna fix” 
Throw in being in an alternative relationship style. It’s brutal
Some of the apps now have a filter for drinking preference. I don’t date any heavy drinkers or moderate drinkers who’s personality changes when they drink and no drug users whatsoever. There’s surprisingly a lot of people who drink either very little or none at all and are not necessarily alcoholics(addicts), they just don’t like the feeling. Good luck
I need to utilize those preferences better. Thank you!
Haha I feel you man! It’s not easy at all.
Still in early recovery and haven't dated since before the pandemic. I feel really lonely sometimes, and find myself on dating apps, etc., but really know I should wait a while and keep working on myself. I just keep praying for patience. Everything in my life has gotten better and I'm sure the right person will avail themselves when I'm ready for it.
All of the really good lasting relationships I've had in the past came out of nowhere and as surprises. Its so easy to forget that.