FIRST OFF IM SORRY FOR SUCH A LONG POST. To start off Ive been sober since February 13th 2019 I’m a stay at home mom and wife. Seems like my whole first year I was sober it was all working out great, I built my confidence up, I was healthier, I lost a lot of weight from my healthy habits. Then my one year hit and idk how and when I started to feel sad I think it was in may 2020 my dad unexpectedly died. I understand it happens for people like this but u never think it can happen to you. Not only me but in my family I’m the one to pick people up when they fall and I like being that person well I LIKED being that person. But not sure if that’s where it even started. I started to not feel support from my husband once my one year hit. I understand being sober was for me but having a marriage and the person u not only expect to be there for you but i wanted so badly for the man I love to be by my side and support me. I thought he would understand. I met him years ago during his sobriety. Anyways, after my dad died, i seemed to have already stopped going to meetings, I didn’t want to get high I just kept going with losing weight, and I started going to therapy, I felt I was lost kinda, my marriage didn’t seem to be going good at all, horrible things were said and just kept living and I don’t even feel like myself anymore. I’ve been going through pain in my neck that shoots down my shoulder blade and up my head, I don’t sleep good at all from my pain, i felt like going to a meeting for awhile now and I seemed to have lost my confidence on going, I lost the meaning of all I felt and have anxiety about going to meetings. I feel like all I do is wake up and take my kids to school come home I have no motivation to do anything. BUT last night I TRIED, I made dinner early i got myself somewhat ready, I hung out with the kids before I left to a meeting my first meeting in awhile. And as I told my husband I was going I didn’t feel the support at all. I almost didn’t go, but I kept telling myself it’s for me ME. I’m Stephanie I’m a person too. Even though I was so afraid and had bad anxiety to share in the meeting I went and I stayed and I felt better, a little bit more positive, Im sorry if this is a lot of me complaining but I needed to write all of this down. There’s so much more I wanted to say but I hate feeling like I’m blabbing or complaining. Well that’s all for now. I’m open to talking
You’re not complaining at all. You’re sharing what’s on your mind & your heart. I’m so glad that you went to a meeting, because you’re absolutely right. You’re Stephanie, and YOU ARE A PERSON TOO. I’m sorry you’re not feeling support at home. If it means anything, I think you’re doing a great job. I’m proud of you.
Sounds like you are doing the right things. Snd thinking the right way. Thanks for your vulnerability and honesty. Try and stay the course. You know what to do....and best of luck.
Thank you just reading this makes me feel better even though I have fear of having confidence again I needed that. Thank you so much
Thank you I appreciate that so much.
You got this Stephanie. I often don’t want to go to meetings, but feel better every time I leave. Thanks for sharing.
Stephanie, you doing better then ur feeling
Stephanie your also the most gorgeous gal i never seen
The pain you’re feeling is temporary. I understand it feels like it’ll last forever but it won’t. Keep up w therapy, meetings, and self care. You’re putting in the work. Keep at it !
I’ve been in and out of the rooms a lot! I heard a guy talking about a situation like this the other day he was going through and said. Back to the basics. Meetings, sponsor, getting out of self. Helping others helps ourselfs. I wish you the best and pulling for you
Oh man, rough times:( virtual hug.. hang in there. It always helps me to remember that the only constant is change so you won’t be stuck here forever. Chances are, if you make good choices, that change is going to be positive, and vice versa. Msg me if you need a friend.
Hi Stephanie. Maybe also have a heart to heart with your husband on what your feeling and letting him know in a calm quiet setting, what you need and maybe listen to his side of things at this moment. There might be something blocking him from being there for you.
Sorry, I am deaf, I am looking for ASL or gesture to understand
Right now my health is not good, cuz struggling deaf community
Thank you so much I’m trying to be positive
Stephanie, Thank you for sharing your truth. I’m going to point out that seeking approval from others seems to set us up for failure. We can’t control what others do. Do you believe in a higher power? If so, my suggestion is to make conscious contact with this power. Prayer and meditation is key to a purpose life. Helping others has been another key to my sobriety.
Staying sober is one part of this three part disease. We have a obsession of the mind and a spiritual malady. I’ll pray for your healing. Keep your head up. Get back into the steps. More will be revealed.
Sending hugs.
Ya I’ve tried this multiple times and just seems like I’m a wall most the time. It’s hard I’m not saying I’m perfect because I will call myself out most the time. But thank you maybe time will just start to fix things
Good job 
. You got yourself to a meeting even though you could have skipped it. Keep doing that, and share about it in a meeting. Reach out to your sponsor. Speak to a fellow AA on a daily basis, just call and check in with them. See how you can be of service. It will get better if doing the footwork. We don’t always get the support of family and friends and that’s ok, it’s not required for our sobriety. My sobriety is for me. The rest will work out if I’m working the steps.
Thank you for this it helps to see stories like this because it kinda gives me closure. I don’t wish or want anyone to go through hurt, neglect, narcissistic relationships, or abuse. I feel like that sometimes like I am crazy, like my feelings are insane to feel a way, that trying to work something out is a waste of time. I feel stronger now that I have gone to therapy but once I stopped going it seemed I started to forget what Stephanie believed in. Thank you for your message and sharing that with me. It gives me a little more hope.