(Ex) Husband to Prison tomorrow

Struggling Help
#1

I'm preparing to watch my husband go to prison tomorrow. We arent officially divorced. Too much to explain in a post.

What he did is devastating. We separated before I knew about his actions. It was a very tough marriage.

I wanted to bring a support person. I have to show my strength and face him alone. My family that I'm estranged from will be there. They never believed me about his abuse and after the truth was shown through his actions I never got an apology for them calling me a liar. The amount I have suffered because of their denial is staggering. I begged for 3 years to get away from him. They even helped him after he moved out. He made 4 times my income but they helped him instead of me when I live in poverty. I'll be facing them as well.

I asked my ex bf to come but I feel I need to go alone. It's not fair to me but theres someone who will look up to me in all this that needs to see me facing this alone.

I'm going to be a wreck tomorrow. It will be hard to not want wine after the hearing.

Tonight he will have to tell my son goodbye. So I'll be facing this too. My sons heart will be broken and I'm raising another child alone again. My daughters fathers is in prison also. I really thought my husband was a good guy initially. I waited years to settle down to not ever be in this position again. History literally copied and pasted itself back into my life.

I've been left destitute from these men and what they have done my children and me is devestating.

Tomorrow will be so hard!
Thanks for reading and any good vibes or prayers are very much welcome.

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#2

Emily hang in there, I've been in your place. After getting sober this time, I got outside help, it didn't take the pain away but it helped me to cope along with regular meeting attendance and remaining in gratitude.

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#3

Yeah I have 77 days. I wasnt a daily drinker until this happened. But I saw it and got help. I have IOPand meetings. I do not know how I'm going to stay sober tomorow though. No meetings or groups can help me. That's not to say I'm going to drink. But what he did is that sickening that honestly dont know how I'm going to do it. Honestly thinking a single day of relapse will be worth it. I was never physically addicted. I never let it get so bad I tore my life apart because of drinking. But ill be honest and say i just may relapse but i also know i wont go back to it after tomorrow.

#4

Good luck to you. You won't be alone your higher power will be there.

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#5

Praying that god will give you the faith and strength to get through this and walk out relieved, like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders and you are free to create a new life and reality for yourself and your children. You can do it.

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#6

thank you. I haven't found a higher power yet that works for me. I'm not sure what speaks to me in that way. I guess I'm a difficult sober person lol

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#7

I don’t know if I truly have either. I believe in meditation and yoga that I know for sure. I also know I definitely need something to believe in so as to my use of the word God, I hoped to encourage you not offend. I’ve also been severely abused by men over and over so in a sense I feel that pain and it led me to say something encouraging. Good luck tomorrow.

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#8

Try not to relapse as tempting as it may sound and as justified as it may be how you look on the stand says a lot about your credibility. Don't let your power go any longer hold on to it and show up for your defense. Don't harm yourself over this man or events any longer

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#9

Emily, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Please know that you’re not alone. I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow & sending you all the warmth & positivity.:heart:

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#10

Doesn't matter what it is just know it's there!

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#11

We are all as difficult as they come.

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#12

I'm struggling with the higher power thing but always accept prayers. Thank you!

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#13

No offense at all! And also want to do yoga. I'm struggling right now with all my responsibilities and finding time. Its definitely a goal

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#14

I found yoga on YouTube. I do beginners stuff. I also found this girl named Suki Baxter there who helps you relieve anxiety and stuff by resetting your vagus nerve there. I tried it and it worked. I definitely think self care is so important to fit in and I struggle finding time so I force myself sometimes. :blush:

#15

Wishing you the strength and courage needed to get thru all of this. I know everyone here is unified in our support for you, your children and your sobriety. While it feels like you are all alone in a dark tunnel, there is a light if you keep walking forward.

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#16

Stay strong.. you aren’t the only one who has made bad decisions.. I made 5 bad ones and boyfriends too.. but I finally learned my lesson.. I’ve been alone for 22 years and have no desire for another man in my life..!! I’m glad you made it when your family turned their back on you.. I don’t think I could forgive them.. I have a strained relationship with my family too.. but that’s my choice.. I can’t forgive mine.. I’ve spent most of my life by myself.. and now I prefer it..!! I’m sorry your son has to go thru this.. but it’s not your fault it’s his father’s..!!

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#17

Well first off, my condolences. I pray for you and I hope God guides you during this time of pain and strife. Peace be with you. :fire:

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#18

My home group is my higher power. They look out for me. They want me to have my best life. That works for me.

Emily I hope you find some peace through the process tomorrow. I don’t believe that a glass or bottle of wine will actually do anything beneficial for you. It never did for me. Please check back in and let us know you made it.

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#19

Good luck and at least ur sober to go and deal with things that's a blessing in its self!

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#20

Good things will happen for you, not everybody believes in God, but I believe he has helped me in many difficult situations,I have jail time coming up soon ,I'm pretty sure, but I look at the light at the end of the tunnel, life will get better🙏

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