Feeling at the end of a rope. My VA

Struggling Help
#1

Feeling at the end of a rope. My VA care team is pacifying me and I have lived with a ruptured disc and shattered tailbone for more than 2 decades. They refuse to even try opiods which I understand the concern however I can get then through any non VA doctor and have only done so a half dozen times in 20 Flippin years of agonizing pain.

Yet they want me to take suboxone, buprenorphine, methadone... I tried the 1st 2 and am not willing to try the latter. I KNOW what helps me. They are unwilling to help. I want to snap. I want to go to the VA and flip tables over and break things. I don't really care if I go to jail. I want them to wake up and open their eyes. I've been struggling with craving fentanyl because the pain is great. They don't seem to be hearing me. They don't seem to care.

9 Likes
#2

I am so sorry to hear this Josh. I understand your pain and frustration. Go back and re-read your gratitude post from this morning and remind yourself of how far you have come from a year ago. It’s not worth all the hard work you have put in to be where you are and have planned for the future. Hugs 🩵

6 Likes
#3

Thank you Mandy! Sincerely. I WILL reread it and even go back and read others I have posted and others have posted. I appreciate the advice and concern. It ISNT worth it. I just don't understand why the VA doesn't seem to care until one is beyond fed up. That isn't CARE. What troubles me most is knowing that others who are worse off than me get similar treatment every day and these politicians have the nerve to say they will change things and never follow through.

3 Likes
#4

Josh, I’m sorry you’re goin thru it:-(. My brother was army and got blew up in Middle East. 17 surgeries later, then addicted to opioids, then prison, then kidney failure and finally death. But before he died he got sober and got away from the VA and at least had some peace. He had to rise above & transcend. You can too. I’m here if you want to talk.
Oh and f****ck politicians!

4 Likes
#5

Here is some gentleness and softness for you. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

2 Likes
#6

:grin:Thank you, kindly!

#7

I don’t know what to tell you. I’m sorry that you’re going through this.
Hang in there and practice the principles. Continue to ask for help. Do the foot work and the solution will come. Don’t give in to the anger and violence. There is nothing to be gained from it.
Trust God
Clean house
Help others

4 Likes
#8

Thanks brother, I've been doing better last 2 days. Able to be more active and manage the pain a bit better

4 Likes
#9

How are you holding up? Sounds like a pretty raw deal to be dealing with, but keep fighting man.

#10

Hey J, I'm holding up a bit better than I was for sure. Thanks for asking

1 Like
#11

Josh. I am so sorry to hear this. Unfortunately they feel like when in recovery they can’t give you anything but look what it’s doing to you. Please you have been a positive person on this site. Don’t go back to h&ll. Isn’t there anyone that you can call? I have a medication Dr I mean I don’t get any benzodiazepines and actually I wouldn’t want them but there has to be something to help you. I would hate to see you lose your sobriety for their ignorance. Stay strong please. We need you here. ❤️‍🩹

1 Like
#12

That’s good news. Glad you’re doing better.

#13

Man I'm sorry about this brother. Have you looked into hormone healing therapy? It could be smoke and mirrors, but I've read good things about some of them, namely bpc 158 and tb500.

#14

Thanks Meadow. I guess time will tell. I sit with the doctors again Wednesday and I guess we will go from there.

1 Like
#15

I am a disabled vet and as a result have stuck with avenues and treatments provided by and approved by the local VA. This week my be the last of that, it just depends as to whether they are willing to help or if they want to continue to treat me like a guinea pig. Regardless there is always hope, I've just had to dig a bit deeper lately in order to find that hope. I had never heard of BPC158 although I have used peptide treatments years ago with good results and am looking into it again. It is tough because the VA will never approve non-FDA approaches. Which realistically is as much to the detriment as it does offer any sort of protection.

1 Like
#16

Danny thank you kindly for the heartfelt message. I do appreciate it. Also thank you for sharing your brothers story. I am amazed at how many people I come across who are under the impression that the VA is doing a great job. Politicians do suck. ALL of them. I do t care what party they represent. For me it is the same crook, a different side. Anyway I won't spend much time on that, this isn't the proper forum. I DO appreciate your care and concern and I will certainly shoot you a message the next time I am in need of support.

1 Like
#17

Josh I'm a veteran as well and have had issues with PTSD. Probably not the same but our body does have an ability to heal itself after we learn to sit in quite and release the emotions. Trying journaling. Or laying and asking your body what it would like to let go off. Let it feel what it feels and respect it for feeling for you. The real emotions will feel better than any pill

2 Likes
#18

Great advice. I do journal. Regularly. I don't do enough mindfulness etc. I will work in that. Thank you

1 Like
#19

Hi, Josh-
This really s-cks…and cannot even imagine going through such b-ess, Josh.
Ugh.
Sorry to read that you are going through this.
You mentioned mindfulness and I will be curious to know how so goes.
I do not do so as much as I would like to…while I have found that tapping / emotional freedom technique helps.

1 Like
#20

—( continued from above )—
A few suggestions to look up that may help?
—The Tapping Solution
( Nick Ortner )
—Davidji, his guided meditations have helped me.
He has short videos on 16 seconds…if you google Davidji 16 seconds…you will find those.
I hope that you are finding some peace, Josh!
:pray:t4::peace_symbol:

1 Like