I decided a few months ago that AA and the 12 steps were not the best way to go about my personal sobriety. I have lost many friends since quitting drinking and am starting to feel very lonely. I do prefer to be alone but there is a big difference between being alone and feeling lonely. That being said, are there any other resources of similar minded people that aren’t in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous? That was the one thing I did like about the program, the fellowship. Just curious if there is anything out there for people who are feeling like I am. Thanks in advance.
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I can relate, loneliness is a big thing early on in sobriety, but over time I started to get used to and prefer the peace and solitude that comes with being alone. I understand what you are saying though, there is a difference in being alone and being lonely. What about joining a local club or some kind of a sports team?
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I have done Celebrate Recovery and SMART Recovery in place of AA/NA. CR being a faith based version of the 12 step programs and SMART recovery being a program quite different than the others and more of a psychological approach.
I tend to recommend SMART to those who struggle with repeated relapses in the other programs. As with any program it only works of you work IT.
I hope this helps.
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Hi Megan — you’re definitely not alone. This is how almost everyone feels when we are first introduced to AA. I was sure there had to be another way for me to get and stay sober and tried for years to find it. Unfortunately all I found was more pain and misery.
AA was the last house on the block for me. I did not want the answer to my problems to be spiritual. But ultimately what I’ve found in AA has saved my life. I get what it’s like to be young and struggle to find meaningful relationships in sobriety. AA has given me those in spades. I hope you can find the desperation to make it back to the rooms and stick around until the miracle happens.
Feel free to message me if you need to talk or have questions.
Good luck! I hope you find your tribe.
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I am more spiritual than anything the 12 step program did not sit well with me either. One recovery program that I was just introduced to not too long ago would be dharma recovery. It's a recovery Program based on spirituality.
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Just saw this quote you might like “Growth comes with a lot of goodbyes, sometimes that loneliness is the price you pay for your dream life”
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Hi Megan I'm going through the same thing. You're not alone 
. I'm also curious to see if there are in person alternatives to AA. As an Atheist, it was not for me.
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I’m going to try a SMART class tomorrow online to check out. Dharma Recovery as well
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Have you tired the online zoom AA meetings? I find them completely different than in person meetings.
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I just started going to celebrate recovery, which I really like.
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8+ years sober without AA, I disliked the meetings. I created a schedule and stay really busy whether it's work or fishing
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Hi Megan, there are many secular AA meetings around. I'm not sure about your area, down there in the Bible belt, but I would be very surprised if there weren't. These meetings are not god filled, no prayer etc. Also, check out Sober She Devils online. It's a women's sober group, non religious.
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In A.A. the only requirement for membership is a desire to quit drinking.
You can get the fellowship without doing anything. There are often a lot of sober activities happening at local A.A. clubs. No steps, or anything required.
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I don’t do aa I went to DBT therapy and I think that really helped me recognize triggers, my feelings, my environment and the tools to help make rational decisions. I do get lonely and that’s ok.
Great group!
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I was going to suggest that if she lived somewhere it exists. Yay.
I don't do AA and don't agree with some of it, but many many have success. I've made my life better tho by making some connections from meetings tho to have a support group and just have friends. It's great as well because more and more people just are clean so it's easier to make friends. The meetings near me especially on weekends people go out to the diner and such and just talk and have good times. Sometimes I'll roll up on those when I'm alone. Just think outside the box a bit. If you need a friend to chat I can be available on here
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Wow. I needed this
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Welcome to the club. You are not alone. That shows how active this disease is. I can relate although I am surrounded by friends in AA and family. Some days i am great others lonely af
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You won't feel that way for long. And if you lost any "good" friends bc of sobriety, then as you know they prolly weren't that great to begin with. You're reinventing/rediscovering yourself. Have fun w it!
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