I’ve been sober before… Where I didn’t want to drink even when I had a chance. Now, I want to all the time, any chance I get. But I don’t want to, well I don’t want to make myself sick and die from it. I know I’ve only been lucky up until now. I’m fairly depressed with the way life has ended up and the state of the world. I hate having to break my back to earn a meagre living. I hate how I will probably never be able to live alone again with the cost of living. I’m trying to have a positive mindset, but I just can’t maintain it. And I’m lonely, but I’ll never settle for an awful relationship again. The urge to drink always gets so loud that my fear of death and want of a better future is nothing compared to it. Big sigh.
Anyway, I’m looking for suggestions aside from going to AA to help. Thanks very much.
We’re glad you’re here. It takes a lot of pain to see clearly. It’s not about the things you have yet to attain, it’s about the successes along the way. Just for today, make a commitment to do it differently. One of the my favorite phrases is if you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done.
There's several stages of Recovery,
Little do you know,
We Go threw a phase that attempts to cloud our mind with just what we need to break down and drink/use.
I'm Emo AF.not calling you thus but maybe why I can say I "completely understood every word" of your post.
Down to being lonely,
But I must say...
We have to push past the sadness and push a little into the anger, the anger toward ourself for ever letting ourselves become someone we were never meant to be.
And know that you in fact have the power to never be that person again.
Whether your alone or not
You sound like me but with a little bit of a different situation. I feel ya and I'm looking for alternatives besides AA too.
Exercise and meditation have helped my recovery process. They help burn off the stress and keep my momentum moving towards a healthy lifestyle. I got back into cooking and reading more too instead of drinking watching Netflix late into the night.
Hello Steph
The progression is horrible. I’m sorry to hear you are struggling. Do you have Meetings near you????
Do you have a sober support system near you? 
Steph, you’re not alone. Life can be overwhelming for sure, especially in early sobriety. Stay sober, stay positive, be of service and know that this too shall pass. Things always have a way of working out.
Read sober tip of the day
Hang in there. It’s gonna blow your mind it’s so good😊
Steph,
I can relate with a LOT of what you shared.
I do not want to drink…while the other day, night…I spiraled into a pretty severe bout of depression…worse than I have experienced in a while.
And I am pretty much at 2.5 years of sobriety this time around.
I too, am not that into meetings.
Nothing against them.
I have just found other avenues to help me to remain sober.
Just want to commend you for your refreshing honesty.
And no one please offer going to meetings.
The post states specifically to offer suggestions outside of AA.
Let’s practice our true listening and reading skills, some Loosid members-never all.
Steph, I am gonna do a little brain dump of things that have helped me this time around.
Including-exercise…
Walking, hiking.
Yoga. Breathwork.
Meditation.
( Not consistent enough with the yoga and meditation, wanting to be ).
Also:
The Tapping Solution-
It is an app, a resource started by Nick Ortner and his siblings.
Fostering cats on a periodic basis.
Getting involved in projects outside of work which speak to me.
Continuing this, one moment…
Move a muscle and change a thought. It works for me.
Every time you have the thought of drinking, shake your head and visualize you shaking out the negative thoughts and then start thinking of positive thoughts, visualize yourself, taking out the positive thoughts and then start reading them.
Unfortunately, if you don’t break that mental obsession, you will eventually drink again.
Please move a muscle and change a thought.
…( continued )…
Listening to podcasts.
Reading, writing.
Researching tools to help me remain sober.
The list is endless.
The more I read and learned about how others remain, remained sober…and right, outside of meetings…the more momentum I built and sustained.
And if you are at a point, where you feel that medication might help…of course, look into it…while I am not a fan of medication because then that can become a crutch and cause additional issues…while talk therapy, if applicable…is also a solid option.
Please keep us posted,
Steph.
Hugs
Totally get it. I found AA too triggering. And the state of the world is depressing. But you don’t know what your future holds. Take time to imagine what you want your life to look like. What you want it to smell like, feel like, what you would do if you were your very best version of yourself- single, free, without shame or fear. With stability- whatever that look like for you.
130$ a year is steep holy!
To Luis D-if you see this,
130 a year in reference to, what specifically?
Jules J,
I am relating with your words, what you shared.
Thank you for writing what you did!
I have been running around from one thing to another ( not complaining, getting to help out with a true labor of love this weekend )…while I was reminding myself just recently to pause…and write these scenarios out in my notebook…sometime in, within these days ahead.
Also.
It is refreshing to hear and read from others who are not constantly bringing up AA.
Sometimes, I check Loosid and think,
Am I on some app for, promoting AA?
I have nothing against AA…while…there are in fact, many alternative avenues and options to pursue in regards to maintaining sobriety and thriving.
Like, when you are constantly reading/
“ go to a meeting “…
I have been to MANY.
They do not resonate with everyone.
We may simply be in a minority-in relation to not being that into AA.
To Steph-how has your weekend been?
Welcome Steph! One thing that has helped me a lot, although I have slipped too many times, is realizing that alcohol provides no benefit to me as a drink. There are lots of beneficial drinks like coco it water, orange juice, vegetable juice that or bodies use to or benefit, while alcohol is something that or bodies just have to get rid of, and in the process our hormones get out of whack, and it takes time to heal from it. Even a little alcohol hurts us, and provides no benefit. The illusions are strong, but with close examination nothing was ever better because of alcohol, more like in spot of it.
You can beat the desire by removing it, which I've done before but forgot a few times to my detriment.
I feel exactly the same.
You’re not the only one.