I’m happy and grateful to be sober but to get here I had to pay dearly. This is my first Father’s Day completely alone after separating from my wife as of Dec 29th. Thankfully I was able to see my daughter for an hour and a half today as part of supervised visitation, but I never envisioned life ever being like this. I am alone since my father and step father have passed and I can’t be with my wife. It’s humbling I suppose and I’m trying to stay positive. Is this worth it though? What’s the point of sober with nothing. Loneliness is becoming a serious part of my life even though I’m surrounded by people. I have friends and a mother that would do anything but they are not here. I have an AA group and sponsor but it’s not the same as an intimate connection and a best friend or partner that’s always there for you. I’m learning to be alone again but this is probably a first of this kind of alone. They say it gets better…
Happy Father’s Day Mike. It does get better. Today is your first Father’s Day sober, and that’s a big deal. You prioritizing you is how it continues. There will be more firsts, and they will build on each other. Keep moving forward and keep sharing the truth! We hear you.
I’m going through the same thing. But I haven’t even been able to connect with AA or my sponsor this time. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more alone. On the other hand I saw I didn’t have anyone who had my back or reached out to me when I had nothing to give. So I’m doing this alone and I don’t want fake friends. My family is worthless. The only reason I’m still sober since December 30 2023 is because of my kids. I question if it’s worth it all the time. My kids are so I don’t cause any more pain for them. I remain sober.
It’s worth it. Being proud of yourself and having your family proud of you is worth it. U got put in the time. The trust, the relationships etc will grow. Keep your chin up and happy Father’s Day!
This is true, thank you for the motivation. I am better now than I have been in many years, that part is amazing.
We share the same sober date! My daughter and yet to be born child are my everything. It’s hard to not lose sight of that but I know I can’t give up or I’ll never see them. Good point about fake friends and people. When I disappeared only a few actually cared enough to reach out.
Thank you, Jules. You’re right and I need to keep that in mind.
Thanks, Rena. One heck of a drug indeed and it’s weighing on me even though I have a network it’s just not the same. Learning patience has been a tough core part of this whole mess. It’s hard to reach out, form and maintain relationships; not sure I know how hah
I’m kind of old school when it comes to friends. When a friend needs help I’ll go running. I don’t abandon people. But I haven’t met anyone that’s the same.
Brother I feel you! Been there. Booze, drugs and addictions took away my family, my dignity and my freedom!
Sobriety gave them all back to me and so much more!
Stay sober, stay positive and stay blessed. Forget the pity party, that’s just your dis-ease/addiction trying to get you back!
Trust It’ll all work out.
I’m the same, someone says help and I’m in the truck already before asking with what. Thankfully this whole ordeal has brought me closer to one of my friends because he shares that belief and showed it. He told his wife that a friend needed help and you just do it while she was asking a bunch of questions. Apparently North Dakota and Alabama do have things in common haha thanks for saying this because it reminds me to be grateful for that.
You’re a lucky man cherish your friend. You guys are one on a million. I’m sure it doesn’t help I live in Los Angeles the land of fake people.
Too true and it’s taken everything from me as well. The disease is literally the devil staring at me around every corner. I’m not a pity party kind of person but feel like I’m just getting hit with one thing or another constantly and I don’t know how much more this punching bag can take. I’m not giving up though. I can’t. I want my two year old daughter to one day know what her father did and is made of. I want to be there for her when she needs me.
I have only visited but got that sense and there’s gotta be some genuine people there. I’ll pray that you cross paths with one.
Thanks I’ve lived out here my entire life. I don’t expect to find loyalty but I’ll be to others the person I would like to have in my life. I’ve learned so much about my own character defects and I wasn’t equipped to handle life’s challenges that I found the bottle and used it as my coping skill. I hope to show and share different ways to handle difficulties without drugs and alcohol but if they happen to go there I want to be able to help them out of that and relate. I can’t fix the past but I can be better equipped for them in the future
Bro. I hear you loud and clear! I do want to remind you though that it IS worth it. Almost a decade ago I lost regular visitation with my kids. I was blessed to spend 24hrs w my daughter who jist left here for work. My son lefr this morning but spent the weekens with me. They see the growth and the progress. Their mother does. Our relationship (ex wife and I) may always be strained but it gets better. My relationship with myself and all of the people I choose to surround myself with, continues to improve.
Even w my kids I felt alome at times. In my pain, yet thankfully, emotionally, thankfully. Point is weekend wasnt perfect and I feel like h3ll physically but only through sobriety does it get this "good." And with time it gets better. some days moreso than others. But the work done "alone" is what makes it even possible.
Maybe this resonates? IDK. Work all programs to your benefit or look for a better program. What better choice do we have. Hate to hear you struggle. We do recover. We do heal. Fully even. But its a daily grind all the same.
Happy Belated Father’s Day Mike.
It does get better.
Keep going to meetings and do not pick up that first drink.
Change is hard but so worth it.
Your little girl will grow up seeing a sober dad! A dad she’ll be able to count on as she grows.
Hang in there! You have the AA army with you!
Boy …. Do i hear you ! My marriage was sexless because of my ex wife’s sexual abuse . Now I’m
Paying the price by being alone . Siblings are clueless. If it weren’t for aa I would be all by myself. I’ll never know a child’s Christmas or be called dad to no fault of my own . 
no good deed goes unpunished. Ex is safe. I’m alone .offer it up my mom used to say 
Thanks man, trying to just keep going.
Thank you, all I want is to be there for her.