Good Evening All, this is my first time posting and I am not sure how this will go or if it is even allowed. I am proud to say that I am 25days clean and sober but here is where it gets complicated. 25 days ago was was not sober and using and hit my rock bottom with threatening to take my life in front of my wife. The next day I was put on a mental health hold and was served with a protection order from my wife and 2 year old son. I entered myself into treatment right away and have been making huge strides on getting back what I love more than anything and that is my wife and son! Unfortunately that came to a grinding hault this morning at 8am when I was served with divorce papers. Today has been the roughest days I have ever had and the craving to use and drink again skyrocketed. What has made it much worse is that with the PO I have not been able to talk with my wife about what I am doing to get better and prove to her that after my treatment I will be the man she fell in love with. I am happy to say that I didn’t and went right to my treatment center so that I was in a safe place. I know this is long and unwanted as I am new to all of this but I am asking for prayers to give me the strength to make it through this. Sorry I am just trying to find people like me that I can talk to as I don’t have anyone after cutting ties with so many of my so called friends that still use and drink. I am doing this for myself and my son but today has tested my sobriety like no tomorrow. PM me if you want. Okay done rambling.
You are doing the right thing by reaching out on here! Sounds like you are going through an incredibly difficult time. Lean on your higher power and your treatment center. This community is amazing for support!
Serenity Prayer. Stay calm let the dust settle.
Stay strong. Stay sober for you. One day at a time remember one minute at a time too.
Prayers are coming your way. A great group here. Always someone listening. You are doing all the right things. Agree with others lean on your higher power and your treatment center. Stay well my friend!
It sounds like you are in the exact right place in your life. You are ready for this next step clearly, have confidence in that, you are ready. All of this pain and loss is temporary, when you are well and once you are well for a while this perspective of this acute pain right now is going to shift. Who knows what the future holds with your relationship with your wife, but you know being clean is the first step toward any progress. And being there for your baby. You’re doing it just keep doing it reach out to those that are going to support you in this.
Sending you strength. Stay on track and don’t let this difficult news detract from your goal to stay sober. You got this! Wishing you the best.
Get to AA dude. Like right away. Get there now and do it all the way. If you want to clean this $hit up, it’s your best bet. I mean after treatment.
You can’t fix everything in a day or a week or a month. It’ll be on your wife’s schedule. But you can destroy it in a second. Stay strong my friend…
I went through something similar. When she SAW what I was doing (that took about 2.5 months) that's when things turned around. She dropped the divorce. We remained together for another 2 years before she filed again. Apparently she decided that being with a sober man who has a completely different outlook on life wasn't her cup of tea. Honestly, it's for the better, as painful as it is.
A dear friend told me something that helped a lot. Sometimes, when you fix something, other things that are already broken and not apparent come to light.
You go Shawn o aa. Org for meetings.look on line.90 meetings in 90 day .do it again.aa works if you work it.aa🐪
Prayers sent
You got this and proud of you for not taking to a drink again especially in such a bad situation like that. I hope she see’s you and your efforts because I know we all do! 
Daylan,
Welcome to sobriety! Welcome to Loosid! I was right where you are in 2009. I blacked out got violent, breaking things in the house and saying crazy things. Wife threatened to leave me. I begged her to stay. I told I’d never drink again. And I quit. I had no program, I wasn’t working on myself, and I was still very very selfish. Fast forward, I picked up a drink in 2013, I thought I had been cured. I thought I was an adult. I could drink like a gentleman. My like slowly spin out of control. From 2013-2016 I drank and got involved with meth in 2016. 2016 I was 5150, in and out of IOP treatment. Lying the whole time to everyone about my drug use. I finally caved in and confessed. I stopped drugging but kept drinking. In 2019, I picked up meth again. I ran for 11 months and 18 days. I was deteriorating, skinny, malnutrition and going completely insane. I tried suicide three times. Once in front of my wife and kid. I was taking away to mental hospital. My wife( now ex) had to get a restraining order on me. I was forced out of my house. My life was unmanageable. Upside down. All I could think about was getting my stuff back. I sobered up at my dads for a week, the. Checked myself in to mental hospital for treatment. While in treatment my wife filed for divorce. I was devastated. Crushed! The love of my life gone. I thought for sure my life was over. I went to treatment. Did what they told me to do. Went to NA, AA, life ring, and recovery dharma. Group therapy during the day. Meetings at night and during the day. I surrounded myself with recovery 24 hours 7 days a week in the first 120 days. I did a 30 day residential in that time frame. As of last month I’m divorced. I was sober this whole time. 2 years 2 months and a few days today.
I look back at the first time and the second time I got sober wasn’t for me. It was to get stuff back. This time it’s for me. I’m sober today because I’m an alcoholic. The type that has an allergy when I drink. The phenomenon of craving starts only after I take that first drink. Then after that the obsession begins to consume my thoughts. And I’m off and running. If I don’t work a spiritual program to keep me accountable I will drink again and to drink for an alcoholic of my type is to die.
Daylan, try AA meetings. Listen for the similarities in others shares. Get a few numbers and call them. We are here to help you. One alcoholic talking to another alcoholic. Then we get time under our belt we go out and help others.
I’m here for you brother. Have a blessed day my friend
Thank you so much for the inspiration!!
Welcome Daylan, I’m glad to be of service!
I am/we are here for you man.
I’m impressed you have made it past a month-your bottom sounded intense. I’m betting your wife was scared for her and you. Eventually she will learn about the new you and things can always change. I hope you can try to focus on you and getting better. I’m taking a break from my husband and focusing on my sober days. It has really helped me.
alright !!! Keep Pushing !
Daylan,
It takes time. I lost my wife and kids in 2009. She left and we got divorced. Good news while again it takes time we started dating again in 2014, got remarried in 2016, and had another baby in 2018.
I still struggle daily. It never goes away. It does get better.
I haven’t been perfect with sobriety but I’m able to recognize the destruction it will cause.