Gratitude list

Daily Gratitude
#1

Honestly STRUGGLING RIGHT NOW 37 days clean it’s my 34th birthday today. Not one family member has called and I only would expect a call from my aunt but STILL. My uncle I live with has been saying EVERYDAY that he KNOWS IM USING!!! He told me don’t get hit by a car when I told him I was walking up get my Dutch Bros free coffee that’s it. Money was supposed to IN MY CHECKING TODAY and guess what?!? ITS NOT. My relationship with my mother is non existent so no tears cried over THAT “person “ of she can loosely be called one. My dad passed away when I was 18 I am so utterly alone. I will not let these things cause a relapse I cant. That doesn't fit into my plan to get the fck out of Northern California. I have so much to do before I leave but that's what im working towards but im grateful to be 36 days clean and I'm alive that'd all I got

Gratitude:

  1. Piper, my cat that shows me everyday I do have at least her that loves me.
  2. I have all 4 limbs.
  3. I have done MANY dumbass things but I am grateful for the intelligence within myself
  4. I am not one of the billions of human beings on this earth sadly aflicted with any one of the different form of cancer
  5. I opened up to a good friend and make an amends to her. So that made me feel a bit better to have

Edit: does anyone else read previous things they have posted and feel like a total a hole? What the is wrong with me

14 Likes
#2

Keep it up. Try to not let the negativity influence you. I can tell you are determined to make a change. I’m on day 65. Find something that you enjoy and obsess over it. I have found many things to keep myself busy so I don’t have time to think about alcohol!! Stay strong your on the right path and app!!

1 Like
#3

If no one has told you yet, happy birthday and great work for 1 month down :partying_face:
One day, everything that you broke will make sense. And you will know why it happened, the way it happened. And at what cost and why it hurt, the way it hurt.
Chin up.

3 Likes
#4

Happy Birthday! I can definitely relate. I feel so alone in the world sometimes. I don’t have a relationship with my mom and I just met my father a few years ago. He was recently diagnosed with cancer and I can only think it’s the universes way to tell me I’ll always be alone here. Anyways, I hope things get better for you!!

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#5

Thank you Jessica.

#7

Travis you live in Greeley? Are you a fan of south park😂 sorry back to the topic, thank you I appreciate the kind words

1 Like
#8

I think I have a lot of resentment toward my mother. What do I do about that?

#9

What do you mean about breaking things

#10

Sorry ro hear about your father! I pray he had a very full and fulfilled life

#11

Congrats and Happy Birthday! Early sobriety is tough, especially isolation that comes with it. I’m 68 days and things are starting to level. Some friends and family are starting to return now that they are seeing the change in me. Start putting together a support group. AA is a good place to start. I have and am making many new friends in recovery, which is refreshing.

2 Likes
#12

Resentment. That's huge. Early on in my sobriety, I had very raw feelings of anger and bitterness. Once I accepted and acknowledged that I wanted to change, I made huge steps into allowing myself to be vulnerable to those whom I wanted to make amends with. To the ones I've hurt - broken relationships with. I sought out a therapist and practice dbt/emdr for my recovery... some work AA, SMART Recovery, Refuge, etc. For some, you can do it alone, but with no support, i found it extremely difficult to hold yourself accountable. (I've tried 2 other times before the 3rd - I'm almost 1 year sober in March) Seems like you've got the fire. you just need to make sure you've got some solid coal to keep on burning...

1 Like
#13

Yes I am. Are you asking because of casaboneta in Denver

2 Likes
#14

Write a list of things you like about her.

#15

36 days clean is wonderful!! I’ve lost a lot of friends due to my new lifestyle but you know what? My new family is my AA family!!! They are always there, we lean on each other and I couldn’t ask for more. Having like minded people around you is such a wonderful thing. Continue posting and we are here to support you, but finding a meeting locally is a wonderful thing.

2 Likes
#16

One of the first meetings I went to when I got sober was in a church basement full of friends I hadn’t met yet , when you walked down the steps there was a sign that said “ You never have to be alone again”and I never have been if I don’t want to be . Someone has always been there when I have reached out to them. That is my prayer for you as well. Congratulations on your success so far and Happy Birthday :partying_face::partying_face:

2 Likes
#17

Happy Birthday, my brother in sobriety! What better birthday present to give yourself than to be sober! God bless!

1 Like
#18

I can relate !! Happy Birthday !! Congratulations!! It’s not easy but Stay Focused !!!!

1 Like
#19

Happy Birthday and keep going! 37 days is huge. Trust the process and keep connecting with other sober people like you did in this post. It does get better, not always easy, but so worth it! You are worth it!

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#20

Happy Birthday Joshua!

1 Like
#21

Happy birthday! I can relate in many ways. Just remember that no matter how bad we have it, someone always has it a lot worse then us. It’s a new day. Amen

1 Like