I'm sorry that your family is going through this. if the meetings dont work for him and if you try to talk to him maybe find out if theres a void hes trying to fill or he could even have a nutrient deficiency going on somewhere too because a lot of addicts of any kind lack certain nutrients most of the time well I'd say if none of those work then take away all the things he loves most and dont let him know it's you taking those things away and if he keeps wondering why his things keep winding up broken or gone tell him that maybe its from his alcohol abuse that if he stops that maybe everything will go back to normal again and tell him that everything went back to normal for you when you got straight. or you could scare him straight by letting him get drunk enough that hes sick the next day or you have to take him to the hospital but I wouldn't recommend that one though. when all else fails for a lot of people in the world its usually going to lock up somewhere for some time or getting omitted in the hospital that will scare them into getting themselves straight and I pray that it doesnt get that far for your son but whoever's his crowd of friends right now the best thing for him to do is stop talking to them and go to the meetings with you and try to establish a new friendship there. if any of his friends he has in life right now are good kids and dont do drugs or drink they are not really much of a friend to him right now if they know what hes doing and not by any means trying to help him quit or talking to him about trying to get himself better and quit a true friend cares and a fake friend does not. an addict friend only enables you because they share the same addiction and use your vulnerability to get what they want because they know deep down your weak to the same addiction and even if they know you are trying to quit they will use that against you for their own benefit not caring about your sobriety journey and that's why I said if he has any friends he parties with he has to 86 them out of his life right now for relapse prevention of sobriety. and try to show him all the wonderful things he could have in life without alcohol like a good suggestion would be asking him what his dreams are in life and explain to him how alcohol abuse is going to bleep up every one of those dreams. I used to be an alcoholic in my earlier 20s so I know what it's like runs in my moms family too but that doesn't matter because addiction is still addiction and all addiction ever done for anyone no matter what kind it is justtake away years of their health and slowly takeaway all the things they ever loved or had or the people they loved or cared about. find something that your son is not willing to give up or lose to addiction and make him fight for those things and remind him everyday that when he feels a trigger coming on that if hesdoesnt live a sober life that someday those things hes fighting forwill be gone forever and that there is no turning back time. what worked for me was my boyfriend giving me an ultimatum and I chose love over addiction. he threatened to leave me if I didnt get sober. idk what else to tell youbut I hope something helps and i
wish you all the best of luck to your family and hopefully good things will come soon and hopefully taking him to meetings will work.
All you can do is live by example. And be there for support
Ty Crystal, interesting perspective. He's had some trauma, divorce, our house burned down that he grew up in, emotionally unavailable father ect...he talks about it sometimes. He's had some counseling but more interested in just numbing.
He's alot like me! I was given ultimatums and scare tactics.I wound up running and in the system. I feel like ultimatums and scare tactics are temporary if they do work at all just from my own personal experience.
Yep...I know! I guess I just needed to be here to help me process this so I don't lose it with him and to continue to come from a place of love.
As long as he isn't getting into trouble with it, just let it be and let him live.
Um...he's bringing it into my home! I'm an alcoholic this is my safe space or at least it was! And I'm not ok with him going down the same road I did most of all!!
I can identify. Remember itâs attraction rather than promotion. As a recovered alcoholic I am free to set boundaries and standards with my home. I also know that no one works the program until they are ready and willing.
Heâs under 18 - send him to rehab now while you still can.
, kids experiment, with everything from cigarettes to booze to pot. When I was in high school, everyone drank. Iâm the only one who became an alcoholic because I was using alcohol as a coping mechanism to deal with having been physically and sexually abused. All my hard-partying cohorts grew up and grew out of the âgetting loaded is hella funâ stage, and ultimately it was just me, drinking alone, drinking in the morning.
One thing I learned in the rooms is that alcoholism is a self-diagnosed disease, which (unfortunately) means you donât get to decide if and when your kid is an alcoholic. You canât save him from this until/unless he decides he WANTS to be saved. You canât ground him permanently or drag him to meetings against his will. Meetings are for those who have a desire to stop, and if he lacks that desire, all the meetings in the world are meaningless.
If heâs drinking and smoking pot, put the Uber or Lyft app on his phone, and link it to your credit card. Tell him youâd rather pay a fortune for a cab than have him get in the car with someone whoâs been drinking or using.
That's the exact opposite of anything that would help a 16 year old. Especially if he's only enjoying himself.
He's openly admitted to me that it's not just for pleasure 
he party's with his friends but he also brings it here and hides in his room alone. If everyone reads every comment I've written here you can see the tale tale signs of early addiction....this is the sinking gut feeling I have and what's so heart breaking 
Man...some a Ya'll didn't actually even read the post!
I would continue to try and spend as much time with him as possible. Some more one on one time and maybe you already do that. Him leaving that can out like that, to me, screams of someone wanting/needing more attention. But, him confiding in you is a good thing. I would definitely not allow alcohol in the house. Good for you for not taking it lightly and being concerned.
Take him to a meeting to listen
Good idea about a meeting!
Just be an example to how sobriety life is. I have tried helping a family member and now we barely talk. She has lost everything but doesnât want to take advice. Now I just let her vent because of course she is blaming everyone else. She doesnât see her part in all of it. My prayers your son will not get heavy into this rotten disease. 
that was a good idea to take to to listen to a meeting or utube some amazing videos on what alcohol does. I still watch them even with 22 months.
Sandy. You need to tell him to respect your recovery and get whatever out of the house because knowing it is there can become a major problem for you. My husband brought home a quarter bottle of vodka after a party. I told him he had to hide it which he did. Get it out of your house please 
Sneaking it in the house would scare me too. Does he really need it. Is that why he is now bringing home and hiding in the closet.
Ohmagosh Nancy ty!! Finally someone reqd what I wrote in its entirety lol! 
Reach out anytime. This is a scary disease and he is way too young to get heavy into it 