Guys I need help with how to deal with this!

Yes and thank you! He didn't leave the can out though, it was hidden a drawer...I did that to send him a picture like I always do. It blows me away thar he still brings stuff to my house knowing I go through his room. But yes, this is a cry for help!

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Wait... You're going through a 16 year old's room regularly? Small wonder he's not respecting your wishes.

Idk if I'd agree that's a cry for help. Sounds more like a 16 year old being a 16 year old.

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Yeah you're dang right I am!! Last time I checked, I was the parent and I pay the rent and I don't want drugs or alcohol in my home and I've made that crystal clear!! Even his dad when we were married had more respect for my sobriety and agreed to never bring onto our property and he never did! I didn't start going through his room until he started giving me reasons to...like the smell of pot in there and on him when he came home! When he has his own place he can do what he wants! But under my roof, he needs ro respect my wishes and my sobriety!! Again...last I checked I don't answer to him...he answers to me!!

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You go Sandy! Nip that sh&t in the bud.

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Sandy - your house, your sobriety, your sanity, your rules. I told my daughter that if she’s going to drink or do drugs then she can’t live with me. I will never enable another addict as I have learned the consequences from doing it before. They need to see the repercussions of their choices now while they’re still young. And it’s because I love my daughter that I make those rules. Detach with love.

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Anyone who knows basic brain development knows he’s too too young to be left up to the throws of complacency. Once he leaves your house it’s on him. Prior that, the house rules stand.

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Preach!

My heart :heart: goes out to you Sandy,

, I’m reminded here my daughter will have a chance to tell a story…..
. Acceptance is so hard sometimes :pray::heart::pray::two_hearts:

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Read my story. :pray:t3:

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I'm sorry my heart goes out to you cause I can imagine this is challenging . But we as adults who have been through it can not expect a child with not much life experience to respect our sobriety

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Thx Rachael, indeed. I appreciate your kind words... however this post wasn't about him. It was about me! And Kenan pretty much nailed it. I have to accept this is happening...expectations are nothing but premeditated resentments. (One of my favs) I needed someone to talk me down. Someone to help get me out of MY head! And somehow only a couple ppl actually read this in its entirety and made this a thing about what to do about my kid. I do disagree tho on the respect thing! At 16 a child that's been brought up to respect their parents is fully aware of how to do so and obey the rules we put in place!

Oh Alexa I am so sorry :disappointed_relieved: I can't even imagine!!

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I understand, I have 24 years struggling with this affliction. And I have had long bouts of great recovery, and short bouts of not so great recovery. Sometimes the only thing that stopped me from drinking was not having any $ to spend.

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As you should! More parents need to go into their children’s room!

From personal experience: going through his room and pushing your sobriety onto him are going to do the exact opposite of what you're trying to achieve.

You want him to respect your sobriety, you have to go about it a different way!

TY Sandy. And today my :broken_heart: hurts w/U. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Same! This doesn't get talked about enough! We're subject to relapse just like anyone else without our tools and support we need! Ty for being here Amy!

Hi Sandy! Thank you for being a great example of how to live life on life’s terms for over 23 years without a drink! You have what I strive for. I respect how you have your boundaries, and admire how you make your sobriety your top priority. Thank you for sharing your difficult situation. I know it helps you, and it helps all of us as well. May the serenity prayer bring you peace in these stressful times :pray::peace_symbol:❤‍🩹

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I'm so very sorry about this situation :pray: there's not much I can say that might help but I just wanted to let you know that I'm here for support :blush: if you need an ear. My 19 year old niece just brought up the topic of here and her sister using alcohol and my heart broke. We similarly have rampant alcolism on both sides of the family. My thoughts and prayers are with you

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Hi sandy! Just wanted to see how your situation is going?