2 years down the drain! And everybody has noticed the weight I've lost. I need help.. why did I do this to myself again....
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Right there with ya girl… lost myself & fell right back down the rabbit hole..
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Because it's a crutch you can use to temporarily turn off emotional thoughts or your mind. Drugs lie because the mind gets hope from the lies it tells itself. Much like user dreams torment people. Drugs are a mask we can use to hide from ourselves for short while but it doesn't do any real good. Jump back on the wagon. You can do it
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Our addiction is always looking for a way to tell us we are not ok. If it can do that, it lies to us about the fix. It will make us feel insecure about ourselves, it will bring up worry for the future, it will bring up shame for the past, a long forgotten resentment…all to break our sense of peace. That’s why connection is so important. You need to have people, maybe a sponsor, that you can check in with. They will remind you that you are ok and that your addiction is lying to you. You need to have another voice other than the one in your head, to tell you the truth.
You had two years. I’m guessing you worked the steps. If so, work them again. If not, pitter patter get atter. They take away the weapons your addiction can use.
And those two years are not down the drain. Your date changed, but you didn’t lose those good years of sobriety. Two years that would have been trash.
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I slipped after 3 years, took me about a year to want to be sober again. Don't beat yourself up it happens, just pick yourself up.
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I'm there too. Had 2 wonderful years...starting thinking I could be an occasional drinker...which after another year ended in a two day binge. I'm not beating myself up. Just starting again...one day at a time. As Shawn says, those 2 years are NOT down the drain. You've learned and gained so much from them. The enemy is always going to go after our weak spots. But we can be stronger! YOU can be stronger. Much love!!
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Stay strong girl!!! U got this! 
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You have a disease. The only way to treat it is found in The Big Book of AA. GET TO A MEETING!!!
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Me too! Had nearly 2 years and slipped
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You're not and never alone. What can we do to support you?
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Keep quitting..
You'll get better at it. Before you know it you'll be counting the years again
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You still have those 2 years. Get right back into it. Feeling guilty or ashamed does absolutely nothing. You haven’t lost those two years and clearly have the mental strength and ability to do. Focus on what your purpose is and go back at it like the boss you are 
. We’re all rooting for you
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Yes, what everyone here said! I hear you! Try to focus on the fact that you had two years that you were NOT using/imbibing. That’s huge! Be proud of you. This ain’t easy. 
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Manda,
Those 2 years are not for nothing. I look at it like this; all the days we are sober is one day we didn’t cause trouble. You may not have those 2 years consecutively now but you had that many days sober. We pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and get to a meeting. We tell the truth to our fellows, to God and ourselves. We don’t worry about the why. We worry about what’s the next best right thing. I just watched a documentary, called restoring the Shack, it’s from the author of The Shack. I haven’t read the book, but this one hour explanation of what the author went through in his life in order to, save his marriage, his inner self and to develop a new life filled with love, friends and humility was eye opening. The tears flowed out of me like I’ve never done before.
We have to want a desire to stop drinking. Then we do the steps. We find our God. We become spiritual beings.
One lady said in a speaker tape, in sobriety I’m no longer a human doing, I’m now a human being. Just be my friend. The piece will fall into place. One day at a time. Have a blessed day, focus on the prize. Your sanity, your kids, and your higher power.
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I lost myself 7 years ago and I’m back. Took me all of last year to finally become sober again in October. After being abandoned by my best friend and called crazy because I didn’t want to help myself. I find myself here lucky to be alive and sober again. I struggle a lot from time to time. But I have a wonderful sober network that wants nothing but the best for me. And for once in a long time I want nothing but the best for myself. Keep striving and bounce back better than before. You are worth it if you haven’t told yourself that. I will say for you until you believe it. You are worth it!
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53 y/o... 19 11/12 years sober. First black out at twelve. Thats ahhh yep 21 years of relapsing. Living is learning... keep up the good work. Being conscientious is a blessing. GRACE ABOUNDS!O2-28-2OO2
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When we fall we just don’t stay down we get up and move forward. Don’t beat yourself up and let it build a home in your mind. Just look out the front windshield and leave the past in the rear view mirror
It’s not down the drain. Relapse is part of recovery. You’re still healing
Look at all you’ve learned in those years. It wasn’t wasted you just had a stumble it’s a spiritual journey not to be determined by days but by awakenings make this one and stay on the journey
I too am a chronic relapser and ask myself the same question but that time is not down the toilet you still did the work and grew as a recovering women be nice to you today you have a choice you can win one day at a time
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