You can do this, you got this!
I feel you. Message me anytime. Crawling out of the same hole right now
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Just a lapse, you still have the two years. Start again. You can do it!!
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Only you can answer the why. With that you can fix it. That time is never lost and this slip doesn't define you. See it for what it is and move on. Reach out anytime you can and will do this.
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Jack, as a medical professional, I agree with the premise that this is a disease and one for which we cannot blame ourselves. However, I do take exception to the belief that there is only one way to treat what ails us. I am a huge proponent and fan of AA, but it isn't for everyone. I just dont want someone to get the impression that they can't or won't heal without AA. Each person is different. God speed to you.
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Its okay Manda, dust yourself off and start again. REMEMBER your not alone.. you got us..
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In my years I’ve only seen people gain real sobriety with the spiritual support that is needed. People can be dry, and not healed. If a person can find that help, good. I haven’t seen it yet
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I WAS five months. My first try. I’m in relapse now. Trying to find grace and be gentle w myself. My daily goals are to meditate, read/listen to sober inspiration and move the bod. Going to try again tomorrow. It’s such a mind game. 
Wow my first taste of sobriety 10 months, I was bragging about it to a random gal,she talked me into a drink, dam it was so easy for her to, my next round i ended up with a few years before I made any bad decisions. I have 12 years today, but I have had double digits and lost it before so on guard for that negative thinking, fear ,selfishness, a thousand forms, resentments, all poison to recovery, a healthy spiritual life is a must.
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I believe that as well.
The story of my life. A week ago Sunday I celebrated 30 days. I felt great, my bank account was recovering, my life looked pretty. Before the day was out for some insane reason I put a needle in my arm. 1 week later I was still
going. Now I have 3 days. I am broke again. I feel sick again. I lost 10 lbs again. I look 10 years older again. Why did I do it?!?!?
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It's life it happens
... Don't get down on yourself I've been known as a cryonic relapse or myself
Chronic relapser... I just celebrated 90 days again but I'm doing a lot different this time sponsor-wise therapy.. a lot of tools I'm hoping this is it this time but don't worry hang in there and just try again
Any meetings will help.
Most of the people on here have relapsed hundreds of times. Just keep coming back. Some day it will stick. If you don't come back you will never recover. Best of luck on your journey
Relapses happen! Fall down seven times and get back up! We are here to help! Today will be a good day as long as you stay positive 
I did it to myself too. I'm in the middle of a relapse right now. I only had 5 months but that is the longest stint of sobriety I've ever had. Guess I'll just have to do better next time and so will you.
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I just stepped out of one myself and I understand. I spent seven years down that path and it only took me five months to go back. It's scary being accountable but don't shame yourself. It's where you felt good about yourself. Now it's important to acknowledge that you are asking for help and to be seen. Everyone here is full of kindness and support and wants to help. Try making a list of things you like about yourself already. Then make a list of things you like about yourself when you're sober. Don't talk yourself out of the progress you made. Hope that helps.
When we fall, we fall forward!
If it is any consolation I relapsed after being sober for 22 yrs
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