Hi ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿป Does anyone have any advice regarding sober dating?

Hi :wave:t2: Does anyone have any advice regarding sober dating? Where? How? Tools? Tricks? :grin:
I am 7 months sober today and would like to date only someone that is sober.

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Hi Andrea, congratulations on 7months!! I'm also 7 months sober and have been thinking about dating as well. Not sure I have any advice other than take it slow. I've heard you shouldn't try to get into a relationship in your first year of sobriety. I'm still regaining my confidence and learning my new way of life. Dating might conflict, distract, or even derail my sobriety if the relationship doesn't go as planned. Where you from btw?

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I was told to write out an ideals list. Then write another one a few weeks later and another one a few weeks after that and then compare them. Then see what really stands out you as the ideal relationship. Then start living up to those ideals. This Iโ€™ve heard is the best way to attract what you want in a relationship.

I have yet to actually do thisโ€ฆ But Iโ€™m getting close to starting.. might be tonight, :joy:
They say this actually works..

As for some sound advice: have clear motives if you are going to date people in the rooms. Our intention must be for good.

I too believe I want someone sober and working a program. I donโ€™t think it would be wise for me to have alcohol in the house or want to be around someone that drinks or does drugsโ€ฆ even smoking pot or cigarettes. Just recovery and working on themselves to be the best version they canโ€ฆ Iโ€™m actually preparing myself for a long search as I donโ€™t want to harm them or be harmedโ€ฆ looks like I have some fearโ€ฆ time to do an inventoryโ€ฆ

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Be upfront and just say that you donโ€™t drink on your dating profile. It will save you a lot of headache because the truth will come out regardless.
If they push you โ€œWhy donโ€™t you drink?โ€. Say health reasons.

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And here come all of the friend requests Andrea. :joy:

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Nope. None. Zilch. Zero.

I don't even know how to get my mind switched back on to dating in the first place.

So, really, this is just me saying best of luck! And let me know if you ever figure it out.

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Truth :joy::joy::joy:

Kevin, I have heard this before but had forgotten. Great advice! Thank you.
Best of luck to you!

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:flushed: I was mostly wondering where to meet local sober singles since I donโ€™t go to meetings. This post got me thinking about The Phoenixโ€ฆ I will give their community groups a try!

Thanks for the advice! I have no shame regarding my recovery and sobriety and I tell people openly why I donโ€™t drink but I can understand why others may say different reasons as to why they donโ€™t drink. Thanks again!

Hi Stephan, I live in the really hot rn :hot_face: Phoenix area (114ยฐ).
Thank you! Congratulations to you as well :partying_face:
Yes, I have heard to not date for a year as well; thanks for the reminder! I am going to check out The Phoenix and their community groupsโ€ฆ

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Thanks, I will!

Andrea, youโ€™re welcome! And thank you :pray:
Stay sober my friend!

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Hey Andrea, I live in Phoenix as well. We have a huge sober community out here weather you choose to attend meetings or not you can still get involved in sober eventโ€™s and met new people.

When you find out, please fill me in! I was single for over a decade before I even got sober and oh boy have I been SINGLE ever since I dried out.

Yesterday I proposed the perfect first date question:
Whatโ€™s your trauma?
Haha itโ€™ll test you both to be honest from the start. Best of luck! The thought of dating again is great but youโ€™re right, gotta be someone who is sober and shares similar thought processes.

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I use this in DFW, itโ€™s a really cool app!

Do not settle for anything less than you deserve! I dated around for a bit to test the waters when my ex and I split up a few months after I got sober. You have a great opportunity to meet some people and experience new things. Take advantage of it! Congrats on 7 months, it just keeps getting better, I promise

Yes to inventory, and working on oneself.

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If I lived closer I'd like to invite you to a date :slightly_smiling_face: