Hi everyone, this is my first time posting and I am hoping it helps me feel better. I’m feeling really low. I’m back in my same destructive drinking pattern. I don’t know what the key is. Nothing seems to create the change I want that puts me back into sobriety. I am flipping out and really scared that I can’t stop this. Any help gladly received. I missed work again, have a crushing hangover, and don’t feel like ever going back to work or ever doing anything.
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Well this is a good start to figuring it out. Welcome. Have you tried getting plugged into a program to get surrounded with positive support? Really kind of impossible to do this on your own. Keep sharing.
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Hello and welcome
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Call your local AA central office and get to a meeting.
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Thank you. I’ve been in smart recovery before I believe I need to go back or find another group. Yes, doing this on my own is not proving to work for me.
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Thank you, Robin 
Thanks, Matt. I will go to a smart meeting. I also just found a new therapist who focuses on alcohol use disorder and will be meeting with her Friday. I wish I could meet in person somewhere, here in SF Bay we are doing everything online. It makes connecting, getting that feeling, much harder.
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Gotcha, we’ll don’t give up.
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I felt the same way a few weeks ago, I went out on a binder and missed work the next day. In my hangover/ probably still high on coke mind I decided to tell everyone I loved that I was quitting drinking. I started with my boyfriend, then sister, then all my friends… It totally sucked but I haven’t drank since and I know it’s only been a few weeks so I can’t yet attest to the longevity of my action but I was super surprised by how supportive and understanding my friends and family were. I’ve never been great at holding my self accountable as I kinda loved living a double life. When I would leave hanging with a friend in the eve, they would go to bed and I’d go straight to the bar. Pretending to have a cold or stomach flu the next day at work and so on… I’m not saying you should call or tell anyone, especially if it would jeopardize your job or relationships but sometimes just getting the burden off of yourself solely helps. Never been to an aa meeting and don’t plan to but I’d imagine they help for that same reason.
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Rockbridge fellowship in Oakland is in person and has a few meetings I hear are full of energy, and have good recovery. Nearly every meeting I know in the east bay is in person. I just checked and the Dry Dock meeting hall in SF and theyre hybrid, so its in person and zoom, I haven't been there before. I personally hit meetings in Pleasant Hill at Mayhew we've been in person for over a year. If you like help finding meetings I can help with more info lmk.
Personally I only started finding relief when I found a sponsor and started thoroughly working the steps.
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Hi Donny,
Thanks - I had no idea meetings were happening in person. I know where the rock ridge one is I think. I’ll check it out. Yeah, I need an in person community as well as online. Where did you find the info - online?
Thanks for this, Karen. I appreciate you reaching out to me. Congratulations on your few weeks, that’s wonderful and definitely a place I want to get back to again, and more. I always feel like I’m burdening people when I have problems so I don’t share very much but I will think about what you said and consider it💖
I’m not wanting to so I am pushing forward!
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I find meetings on the AA meeting guide app. I just put in whatever area I'm in. Enjoy!
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There is an app for AA meetings in your area called “Meeting Guide.”
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When we get low, it’s hard to pick ourselves up, but I always go back to one simple step (literally): go for a long walk. It feels like the last thing you’ll want to do, and may be exhausting, but staying horizontal on the couch can make you sink (physically, mentally, and emotionally). Try not to rush it or plan it out, just walk with yourself for the sake of being with your own company. It’s grounding.
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Hi MyMy,
I remember those days, I didn’t think I had a chance but truth if I was growing a new mind, I hadn’t lost my mind I just never learned how to process as an adult. I can finally, honestly say that the grass is greener but it took a while to get here and lots of ups and downs. I’m here because of you, I once thought I was a loss too. You don’t know how helpful your post has been. You got this and thanks for posting.
You're not going to be sober for the rest of your life in one day. Just relax. Stay sober just for today. Then just keep doing that everyday. You got this. We believe in you!
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A great activity I found on a day like you’re having is to write out everything and everyone that is important to you. Feel their love. Also CBT is a great move! I talk to my therapist weekly and am on 13 weeks. It’s about processing your emotions and not running from them! Good luck, you got this