I’m new so apologize if this isn’t the right place. I’m struggling to get myself anywhere near sobriety, but it’s gotten to a point where I have been getting blacked out every night and probably spent near 200 in just this week on drinks. I have concluded that I’m afraid to sober up because I fear it would change me as I am often seen as the social party person in my friend groups. To be frank, I tried going to an AA meeting only once but it ended up being an empty space with no one in sight. I was frustrated to say the least and relapsed. I know I am responsible for my actions, but yet I still choose to hurt. Also, I am high functioning and pretty good at hiding this problem from my family so it’s hard to seek help without disappointing them further. Sorry this was a lot. Thanks for reading just needed to talk it out somehow.
When the fear of picking up a drink exceeds the fear of getting sober, you'll be ready. And attending one empty AA meeting is not trying. Things have changed in a post-covid world. You may want to call ahead of time to ensure the meeting is ongoing. Sounds like you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Hi - so sorry to hear you’re going through this. I was in your position 2 weeks ago and got help and I am so hopeful. I highly recommend considering professional help - it is the only thing that has helped me. In addition to AA there are other avenues like Dharma recovery or SMART recovery. You can do this!
If you can, confide in someone. It’s a first step. Yoursoberpal on Instagram has a bunch of resources as well
Thank you so much for these helpful resources! Very much appreciated
First and foremost .. welcome to the community. That in itself is a great first step. The fact that you’re seeking something more … what helped me initially ( im only 3 weeks in, so pls know that I too am seeking a path forward ) was listening to MJs audio stories. It’s crazy how I could relate to something in each story. Additionally , if going to an AA meeting initially may be daunting in your mind , there are several virtual meetings to attend to. Remember , just worry about today. I wish you all the best.
Thank you so much! I went to AA virtually yesterday so I guess that’s step 1
One thing all AA folk haven't common is they hit a bottom. Most people with your story, will need quite a few. You don't have to keep digging. If your bottom is big enough, You can be sober. That's the truth. AA will work when you're ready. But you have to talk to somebody about step one. Get a sponsor in the program or if you need to call me 5626823177 I'd be glad to be your temporary sponsor if you'd like
There are also zoom meetings at all hours thanks to different time zones . Don’t be discouraged. Find a meeting
Whether you have an Android or an iPhone you can find an app called Meeting Guide in their app store. It is a great tool for trying to find a meeting no matter where you live. I highly recommend getting it and yes it's free.
If you can't stop drinking on your own it may be time to find a treatment center or at a minimum a detox facility. I know blackouts very well and I had them every night when I was out there. Blackouts are scary for sure. Nothing worse than waking up the next morning and not having a clue in the world where your car is at or where you were or what you did. Not to mention wondering if the police might be out there looking for you because you did something stupid the night before. Been there done that.
I've also woke up in jail cells not having a clue in the world as to why I was there. Download that app and get to some meetings. If you follow the instructions of getting yourself a sponsor, one that will take you through the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, you can change your life and not have to drink ever again. The choice is yours. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. What you do with it is up to you!
I also recommend ninety meetings in ninety days. If at that time you don't feel that it's for you, we will refund your misery.
I used to be like you in a way. Black out drinking a bottle or more a night. I eventually tried to stop suddenly and had a seizure and ended up in the hospital… please go to the emergency if anything for help if you need to stop suddenly. It can be fatal.. and as for a meeting try to find one that fits you if you can. Just tryin to help.
Appreciate the insight and the resource! Been to 3 meetings so far and there’s been a lot of self reflection after each honestly
You have one life & it is yours! You can’t live for other people and fear how they will feel. You need to do what’s right for you and it sounds like you already know this. There is help out there. I don’t know about your support circle, but maybe explaining how you want and need help is the first step. If your friends are your true friends, they will support you 100%. If not, it’s time to move on. Good luck to you! We’ve all been there and or going through it.
Appreciate your input, working on going to meetings
Funny, I was encouraged to go to an aa meeting - I hesitantly agreed. First meeting ? Door was locked due to Covid. Went to another. Couldn’t get into apartment complex. Super frustrated, I wanted to give up and say “I tried”. But instead called aa - a very nice person helped me find two meetings near me - I went to one - it was the first step in changing my life, after being super hesitant to even try - try a few different meetings - someone will offer you their number - call them. I’ve found even when I fail - zero judgement, zero lectures - you’ll hear how they failed and learn from their mistakes. It’s very powerful.
Aa virtually is a good step - being face to face is very powerful- you will more likely meet people who want to help - as part of their recovery
Thanks for sharing your story with me, I am glad to see you pushed through and went on searching! I went to an AA in person and it definitely feels different just wish they had more near by my area. But I’ll keep an eye out
I’ve found a daily noon zoom meeting I kinda listen to as I work - I went in person once - and I have a home group (have gone twice) and started working with a sponsor - I’d recommend it - at least have a phone relationship with someone.
That is AWESOME! Proud of you!
Aa. Org lot of meetings up there .do meetings everyday even zoom .