I went to an Na meeting last night and also another tonight. I get some weird vibes. I get the vibe as if the people there just look at me as a dumb and naive kid. I am 26, they are all 10 years older or more than me. I try to share my thoughts with them during the meeting, as I fumble across my words, as I’m always incredibly awkward, nervous and anxious around big crowds and strangers. I talked to a few people after the meeting, I just get the feeling as if they think I’m dumb. It just left a sour taste in my mouth tonight. I don’t really understand what I did wrong. I don’t think I will be going back. Anyone have any similar experience?
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I did with AA. I found Celebrate Recovery and haven't looked back
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Not bat mouthing either group just didn't like the idea of having to call myself an alcoholic when I became free of that. Was like wearing a heavy chain around my neck that I put on every day.
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Most aa groups are tight knit. Go back, that’s a place to share your feelings. Those people were once in your shoes at one point.
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That definitely makes sense to me. I will also checkout the celebrate recovery, I know they have a meeting in the city nearby, I have not tried that one yet. Thank you for the reply
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I’ve noticed that as well. I try to share my feelings, but you are right about it being tight knit. It seems to work for some people. I think I will try the celebrate recovery next time
You just haven’t found your people yet. There are a few NA meetings I stay away from for similar reasons. Keep trying. 
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Ah I see that celebrate recovery is about Jesus. I will have to scratch that idea as well. And honestly I was just so turned off by tonight’s meeting that I just really don’t want to go back. I did not know that people with a low amount of sober time were discouraged to talk or share, but I read online after hours of research that that is the general mindset. To just sit and listen. Well I’ve been incredibly lonely and isolating myself, and all I wanted to do was share a tiny snippet about what is on my mind. Now I can see why people were treating me weird. It’s because I’m only at 10 days and I was speaking. This isn’t my first time around, I’ve been to 30 days before, 60 days, 3 months. I’ve stopped using over half a dozen different substances in my life time, I’m not a newcomer. I have been through the mud and ran through the mill. I’m not some uneducated person just because I have only been 10 days off on this stint. It feels really closed minded. I generally feel more intelligent and self aware than most people I see on a daily basis. If I go back it will only to be giving this book back to them. I also don’t believe in being powerless over substances. I can stop anything I have started, as I have done it all before a hundred times. What I can’t seem to stop is my brain having depressed, negative, and pessimistic outbursts, as it has been what I’ve been taught growing up, that and a slew of family members with mental illness down the family tree. I have mental illness that I use substances to cover up. That’s my rant I guess. I don’t think I will be back, as the meeting just pissed me off more than it felt welcoming or helpful
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I hate those it's negative and the people are too ..for me I prefer to read the book on my own and go to church
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Are you going to seek medical help for your mental illness? Maybe 12 steps aren’t what you need?
I find that AA has helped me and continues to help me stay sober. What I do in the program is work the steps with a Sponsor, get a few service position at meetings, get a couple Sponsee in the book, and continue to work the steps on a progress not perfection attitude. My life went from having lost almost everything to living a beautiful life that I never thought was possible. For me I must help others whenever possible, be of maximum service towards others, seek guidance from a power greater then myself, God. I pray for your recovery and that you find peace in your life.
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If you can find a secular AA meeting, we dont discriminate with drugs etc. You can just say "I'm a person in recovery". It's very open and inclusive. My agnostic AA meetings are full of all kinds of addicts. And the best part is that there is no praying or any of that other nonsense. Just straight up sobriety.
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That really sucks that you had that experience. Have you ever tried virtual meetings? I have some suggestions for websites to check out for virtual NA meetings. If you are interested. There are even secular or agnostic/atheist meetings available virtually. You deserve to feel comfortable.
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Have you looked into Smart Recovery?
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I go to a variety of AA meetings. I have mixed feelings about all of it. On the one hand, AA has helped me tremendously, and I have made some really great friends. OTOH, I have seen some of the behavior you describe, and I don’t like it at all. I was taught that the most important person in the room is the newcomer. I recommend going to some newcomers meetings. My home group has a designated meeting once a week that is formatted to allow the newcomers to share. There are other recovery programs. I don’t have experience with them, but I believe if you follow one closely and do the work, you can enjoy a beautiful recovery. Please don’t give up. Don’t close the door. Fight for your recovery
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Hey Josh I think you’d be hard pressed to find someone who doesn’t share your experience in NA and AA. Just give it time. Please don’t give up. If you need to try an AA meeting. It’s a tough experience. We aren’t exactly starting these programs on the wings of success so we can be a bit sensitive (not saying that you are). If you just give it an honest chance it will work. I promise you.
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I have sought help for mental illness for the past ten years. It doesn’t mean that they actually help. I’m sure there is plenty of others that understood that. The mental health care in the US is fairly poor. I think my state has one of lowest funding for mental health care. What I’ve noticed, is the people that are “helping” are really only in it for the money. It’s a get you in, get you out, onto the next as fast as possible, kind of thing, so they can rake in as much cash as possible with what little time there is.
Tried a smart recovery meeting last night as well. One persons suggestion for another person struggling was to get on Ativan or Valium. That is horrible advice. I wanted to speak up and say something as I have plenty of experience with benzos. But knew it would cause offense so I didn’t say anything. So smart recovery seems a bit too relaxed in a sense. Nobody needs to take a benzo except maybe someone with uncontrollable panic attacks. All they do is make you check out, as it hits the same receptor that alcohol hits
I’ve tried virtual meetings, and they just don’t feel the same as connecting with somebody in person
I know I may seem a little bitter, but I appreciate everyone’s replies. It’s nice to just be able to talk to others that listen and offer advice, without giving me any weird vibes. So I’m glad this app is here
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I don’t know about NA but AA has young people’s meetings. I would mix up your meetings so it isn’t all the young peoples meetings because for me the older guys with sobriety I want are my biggest supports but it’s also good to be around people in the same boat sometimes
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