First off.... you are NOT worthless or stupid!! What you are is a addict/alcoholic....period. We use..it's what we do. You loved yourself 31 days ago to get sober now love yourself to start over. Do you go to meetings? If you do then everything you learned a month ago isn't lost because you drank/used. Keep coming back..it works IF you work it....and Jenna......YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!
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I had it explained to me like this in smart recovery. Sobriety can be like a highway and slip ups are like taking the wrong exit. What's most important is getting back on the highway and back to your goals. It happens, it sucks, but the most important part is realizing it is a problem and getting back to that recovery goal. Keep after it you got this.
Everything worth saying has already been said.
Do this for yourself.
Take this help, the wisdom, the insights…please let us know how you are doing.
Try to be compassionate with, towards yourself. We have all screwed up…many of us more times than we care to remember.
You have it in you to become and stay sober.
Get the help and live the life which you deserve to live. You can do this and we are all rooting for you!
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I know a lot of folks who have struggled with repeated relapse. For myself, this is also a BIG concern. My DOC is a result of pain and the pain isn't likely going anywhere anytime soon so the urge is always there and as the day goes on, the pain increases, making every night very tough.
At the VA rehab I attended, I found SMART Recovery. In my opinion, their methods are more helpful than any other a00roach that I have seen, as it deals pretty heavily with the psychology of the addict.
One thing I tell everyone who is struggling with repeated relapse, is to dow load and work the SMART Recovery CBA worksheet. You should be able to find it free online. If this isn't enough, try attending some SMART Recovery meetings. They have them online as well, or work some of their other worksheets.
Veterans with addiction often face problems that, like many addicts, never really "go away." That being said, it is important to get down to the root cause, which tends to lie in the psychology of the addict.
If you need further assistance, feel free to shoot me a message. I will do what I can. Many of my worksheets are MIA and I don't currently attend SMART Recovery meetings, as I don't find it necessary any longer. I do however find it very necessary to attend meetings of some sort, as often as possible.
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I feel you on this.
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No it’s set back , when u get urge make urge jar
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You’ve made amazing posts I seen the last four or five posts you made, and I know you’re going through a lot of struggle. You’re allowing other people like myself to see what you’re going through just like I do in some way shape or form but I want you to know that you’re not alone and you’re not worthless and it wasn’t a waste of time.
You seem like a very good person and I want you to know that I really appreciate you for letting us in on what your going through.
I had almost 9 years in 2011 when I relapsed. When we relapse, it's simply because we're believing a big lie that alcohol feeds us. It tells us that this time, everything will be okay. But it never is, is it?
This comes from a chapter in The Big Book of AA entitled "The Doctor's Opinion."
Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are
restless, irritable and discontented
unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks—drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the
phenomenon of craving develops,
they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an
entire psychic change
there is very little hope of his or her recovery.”
Can you relate to any of this?
Don’t put yourself down !!! those 31 days were meant to happen and you gain something. The real question is can you dust yourself off and get back up as quick as you can and start over? I have relapsed so many times i stopped counting. It all part of the journey. It will feel like there is no point but that’s what addiction does. it tricks are ours and tries to make excuses to keep using. There’s only two options: keep using and die or get sober and found out what life had to offer. There’s so much more than using. I promise it seems boring but it’s so beautiful and to feel healthy is worth the withdrawal and hopefully you won’t ever have to feel that again (i’ve withdrawn so many times to and eat time for worse idk about u but it’s helll)
Group Therapy was my savior. Intensive Outpatient therapy so you go once a day for 3/4 hours ! Maybe that’s better for you, since you said i’m other replies some person is watching over you/ strict or something.
Honestly, you said they don’t support your sobriety and to me that’s scary !!! why would you want to be around someone unsupportive of the best version of you- healthy you. Sounds like they might be holding you back i hope eventually you realize this and can separate your self from the toxic environment. It’s very true, you are who you hang out with/ around.
Maybe just start with going to an AA meeting once or twice a week or when your feeling like ur struggling. You don’t even have to talk or make yourself known just listen in and take what you need.
You have a sober friend in me !! follow so you can DM me
ଘ(੭ ᐛ )━☆ﾟ.･｡ﾟ
i know you can do it. One day at a time slowly. i hope you learn to love yourself and find peace. stay strong stay safe 
(^o^)人(^o^*)
Jenna don't be so hard on yourself. Relapse is part of recovery. I would drink away six months of sobriety once a year and I always felt horrible that my loved ones were counting my days of sobriety knowing I went through 3 gallons of whiskey the weekend before. If you slipped on ice and there was no damage done other than possibly slight embarrassment would you just lay there and give up and say "I am not getting up because I'll just slip on ice again" or would you get up knowing you will take extra care not to slip again but that if you do you now know it's not the end of the world?
Jenna you'll know when you're ready and everybody has different relapse events with various frequency but as long as you get back up you are beating the disease. You are a winner. I can't even imagine the amount of relapses I had and they were always bad, so much so that I had pre-written apology emails saved and I arranged for a loan from my 401K knowing a DUI was inevitable and sure enough it was followed by a custody dispute.
You have so many "yets" and I assure you there's very few things we cannot come back from. That is magical and enchanting. Nobody thought that was possible. I can't say I won't drink to celebrate but I CAN say I will not be drinking today, and I probably won't drink tomorrow, but all I have is one day at a time. Look how far you got...you got this Jenna. One day at a time. don't ever punish yourself for relapsing. You're human and not immune to bumps in the road...especially cunning, powerful, and baffling bumps in the road.
You have so many friends, many who have been where you were...meet us. Talk to us. be Jenna. Everything will
be okay friend. keep coming back.
I was a complete write off. My parents, my twin brother, my sister...they all prepared for my inevitable death and nobody believed I would get well and yet I celebrate 11 honest years without a sip of alcohol on the 30th and I was a mess. I am the guy who should have wrote "A Million Little Pieces." I lived through horrendous events and trauma. Just get Back up Jenna, you will reign supreme...one day at a time.
Stay strong baby girl...you're safe and soon you will be happy in sobriety as well. Keep on keepin' on Warrior.
One day or one hour or one minute at a time, it doesn’t matter to God if we don’t succeed. We say it matters be God is all loving. We love you until you can love yourself. Unconditionally.
"Worth" is a weird thing. It's mercurial. For instance, yesterday at a thrift store if found two Danish modern teapots that usually go for about 400 bucks, brand new they are a little more. So I looked online and there are a few people selling them for the price I mentioned and they have been for sale for years, nobody will pay that much for them. What I'm saying is "worth" is subjective. Worth is whatever someone is willing to give for them.and not much more. To understand human worth, for me, self worth translates directly to how I affect the people around me, my closest people. That's really the only measure you can get of your worth. Surround yourself with a$$holes, well cause probably you are one yourself. When you start to make quality friends, drop the drinking buddies, you start to feel pretty good.
Don't trip on relapse. Get up and do it DIFFERENT. What can you do differently? Maybe a better sober support system? Sober is different than simply not drinking. Get yourself to AA meetings and connect with people who know what you're dealing with. They can help.
No clean time goes down the drain. I firmly believe that. Just get back in the rooms and get started again I wish you luck.
Listen! You did 31 days! You can do it again! Relapse is PART OF THR DISEASE!
Keep ya head up .. get back doing what u was doing , u got this
All we have is 24 hours. You strung 31 of them in a row sober. You can pick yourself up and do it again. It’s what it is. Forgive yourself and give your will back to a higher power. The first step. Powerlessness. We get better with time. Your honesty is your greatest strength.
Don’t focus on the any negative downfalls, only focus on what you want to happen. And it will!
You will get better! Trial and error is a part of recovery. You’re learning and growing. Stay patient and hopeful! You will get better, don’t give up!
I almost threw 40 months away! And a drink didn’t sound good but death did!
What I did to get through my self sabotaging behavior is pick up the tools that I’ve learned from AA and apply them to my life. These tools are:
Call and talk to someone about your secrets-we are only as sick as our secrets.
Write down your faults, mistakes and wrongdoings.
Then praying and meditating asking your HP for forgiveness and what corrective actions I can take.
Because I was restless, irritable, and disconnected because of my behavior a few days or a week before I couldn’t sit in that funk anymore. Being sober and feeling my emotions especially when I do something wrong or hurtful really gets me down.
Checking in is harder then checking out. However checking out doesn’t solve the problem. A drink is a solution to all of our problems. I’m forever grateful for the 12 steps.
I pray for you to heal and grow from this relapse. I ask God to help you see the truth. Have a fantastic day. Day one means you’re still alive.
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