I am struggling terribly. I’m battling a terrible drug addiction completely silently. Not one person in my life knows, not one. It’s lonely, and isolating. I just keep relapsing, and I’m trying so hard but I don’t know that I can keep going like this…
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Hit some meetings and if you don’t want live local ones jump on zoom for a meeting 
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Do you know what your triggers are? When I realized I had to quit drinking and pushed myself to quit, I had to identify my triggers. If possible, also go to an N.A. meeting. Do you have access to a doctor? They can prescribe medication to help with the urges. Quitting is hard, I tried to quit drinking several times but realized I needed outside help. I'm doing the leg work, but I have medications to help with the urges. Lastly, reach out here, this is a supportive community. I hope you can beat this. It shows strong character just posting.
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I definitely don’t honestly! I’m in a lot of therapy, and things like that but even my therapist is unaware of my drug addiction.
I hide it very very well(prob not as well as I think), and any time I feel like people are closing in on the idea, I’ll stop for a few days, then I’m right back to it. But this time— I just can’t quit. My boyfriend is very suspicious that I’m on drugs, and I just can’t quit. Idk.
I think I’m mainly scared to speak it out loud, because it makes it real. It proves that it is a problem for me— and I hate that. I also have struggled with my parents being very controlling when I was young- had a traumatic experience being committed once so I feel I’m also “triggered” by the idea of rehab.
Facing your demons is a hard thing to do, but you have to face them eventually, or you'll keep on spiraling downwards. I hid my drinking from my ex until it spilled over, and I couldn't hide it anymore. Your use will eventually be noticeable. They might not see you use, but your behavior will get worse as you keep trying to hide it. Trust me, I thought I was hiding my drinking, and I was, but my drinking became so bad, it became impossible to hide. There are outpatient programs, so you won't be sent to an inpatient program if you don't want to. If you want to quit, as hard as it is, you have to be honest. You'll lose a lot more if you're not, I know from experience.
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Shelby - rehab is not a bad thing and it’s better it be your choice than theirs - they already know you are using, believe me - they don’t want to believe it and they are afraid to confront you - you must tell someone, start with your therapist - that’s what they are there for - it has to come out and the relief you will feel will give you the power to quit this thing - addiction is nothing to be ashamed about - you will get support from all of these people you are trying to hide it from - please do it Shelby
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If you can read step 1, it says “ We admitted “ so now is the time to break your silence and reach out. We all can’t do this alone. Time to be honest. Wish you all the best
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I don't know what it's like to have a narcotics problem (smoked weed twice, no other dry good). I do have an addictive personality that manifests itself in other ways (good, impulse buying, etc.)
I have to remember to work a program not to fall into my addiction however it appears. I talk to others, read The Book, work with s o someone, be of service, have a sponsor, and more.
It may seem overwhelming, it isn't. I was told there is a simple program for complicated people.
My hope for you, and anyone with addiction is that you find a bottom, so you are desperate enough to work a program towards sobriety.
Aw, Shelby. I feel for you girl. I had the opposite experience through most of my active addiction, but I know what it's like to hide things from those that you love and how isolating that feels. I would suggest you really sit and think about who in your friend group would be most understanding and least likely to betray your trust and consider sharing this burden you bear. You do not have to go it alone darling, pain shared is pain lessened.
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This is not fun…and it feels like nothing will ever get better. ❤️🩹 I have tried by myself. Rehab gave me the hard stop and reset I needed. Only speaking from my experience. Hoping and praying the best for you.
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First thing is got start being honest about everything with people, yes people will be mad and upset with you but if you are honest and want real help it will happen
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When we reflect on our demons , it’s because you’re given a chance or opportunity to try a different solution. It’s right in front of you, your normal reaction is to use. Believe it or not you will get through this response if, if you say not tonight. Just know you can get through tonight. You have someone that can be there for you. So many relationships survive because they admit they need extra support. You are worthy, you are strong.
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Zoom recovery rooms helped me alot. Maybe it can help you too
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I'm in Next Frontier in Tuckahoe and I love it. I was struggling with my drug addiction and since I got there I am really thankful and I'm now this is the last time I will use. If you need someone to talk to feel free to reach out. I understand what your going through and would love to help.
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Yeah I mean no disrespect to therapy , meetings are completely different in my opinion . Your around like people that know exactly what your going through . I’d say give some a true chance . And yeah facing your inner demons is tough . But if you don’t things could get worse and worse and I’m sure you don’t want that . But hang in there your not alone 🫶🏻🩵
I hope it helps to know that so many of us have felt that same desperation. Falling into rabbit hole after rabbit hole wondering if life will ever change. If I’ll ever get better. If I’ll ever get sober. And most of all, will I ever stay sober?
The good news is yes. You can.
It starts with one decision. But that one decision needs support. Once you make your mind up, everything begins to shift. Lean into people who get it. Let them walk with you.
Personally, I’ve done both NA and AA. They helped lay a foundation for me. I learned so much about myself. That was my beginning. And it can be yours too. Because one addict truly understands another.
You’re in the right place. You can do this. And I’m just a DM away if you ever need someone to talk to.
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You have the option of doing some on line meetings I think the more you reach out you will find some strong connections in the recovery community you are already taking that step by reaching out so many people on here will help you walk through 
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@shelby326943 ... YOU NEED TO GET HONEST WITH YOURSELF FIRST AND FOREMOST.
We'll talk about the "boi-friend" later.
You come first. GET HONEST WITH YOURSELF!! I don't say this to knock you down. I say this to build you up and support you.
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I understand
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Honesty is the answer to all of my problems 
My higher power is my solution!
Let it go and don't be afraid of what others may think!! You are not alone and I know you are loved very much by many!!
Somebody cares...trust me, even if it doesn't seem like it... let it go Shelby...please!!
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