I broke down today I felt completely alone. I texted my sister and told her Im sober for 2 wks even though it's only been 2 days. Well she ripped me a new one. I texted my daughter and she said it all makes sense now with how she feels and she told me this stuff gets passed down to kids. She is 22 I'm 43. I just felt so alone. I've hurt everyone close to me. I'm like a sht tornado and ruin everything I get near. My Mom isn't here anymore idk how it would be if she was I know she wouldn't want to see me going through this. I'm falling apart physically and mentally. Everything is together on the outside on the inside I'm crumbling I'm going to end up losing all the outside stuff too.
I called the AA hotline and a woman talked to me for almost an HR. I work 10 hr shifts by the time my day is over it's 12 hrs long. Now I can't get to a MTG until Thursday.
I broke down and cried for 30 minutes or more. I feel so tired, broken and lonely. Idk what I'm doing with my life anymore. This hurts a lot
Don’t drink no matter how bad you want to. It will get better. We all had one day when we started. I now have 32 years.
I honestly don't know what to say. I am new at this. Tomorrow will be my day 7 alcohol free. I really don't have any advice to give other than to keep your head up, one step at a time and "embrace the suck"
Google it. It's military slang, but it fits.
Good luck to you.
Thank you for your replies. It does suck a lot 
wish I didn't feel this way and hope we can all continue the good fight 
“The world is shtty, but we've got to deal with it.” that's a good saying I did look it up and it is inspiring a bit. That's pretty much what I was crying about earlier. I feel too sensitive a d always for and at the wrong times. And thinking of all the wrongs I've wrong others
My mind goes too much 
I'm probably still in withdrawal (again) at 3 days
But I'm still here 
we're all still here
Do an AA online meeting. Super helpful!!!
We have all had the breakdown. I remember the first AA meeting I attended I felt like the world was literally closing in on me. This is your starting point. There is an app called “ in the rooms” that lists online meetings. Trust that this feeling will pass. Right now you just need to focus on not picking up. The steps are in order for a reason. Trust the program. Be kind to yourself. Don’t try to fix anything except yourself right now. We all have your back. We do recover together.
The world isnt totally shitty. There are lots of really beautiful amazing things in it. Get down the road a bit and you'll begin to see it.
"One day at a time" used to sound so corny and dumb to me, but now I get it. Stay sober today, worry about tomorrow when it gets here. Keep coming back.
I do appreciate you all
Mindee. Thanks for sharing this. Early Recovery is not easy BUT if you really want it you can do it. If you have access to internet there are 247 meetings around the world. Just look AA.org. You need to make connections with other people in recovery. There is no such thing as can’t get to a meeting anymore since zoom was started during the pandemic. I have. 22 months and some of my family still don’t understand how hard this is. My own husband still doesn’t understand so yesterday I had to tell him things about my relapse that he didn’t know like it was a big sip of his beer that got me up and running again. I have not seen family members in 2 years because of their alcoholism or the amount of liquor at their homes. Yes sometimes it really hurts but harsh reality I WILL DIE if I drink again. So I don’t care if I don’t go places. Get a recovery team. Mine has saved my life plus lots of friends from AA also. Reaching out is the most important thing. Stay strong. My brother died a horrible death from alcoholism. Believe me you don’t want that.
24 hours at a time.
It will get better! That is a promise. Just don’t pick up the first one and keep sharing!
How long have you been struggling in AA? Don't be afraid of looking into other resources and programs. Maybe you need something to supplement the AA program, or something altogether different.
Zoom meetings are around the clock all over the world. Install it and hit them when you can is my suggestion. No excuses in sobriety. You either want the change or you don’t. Your decision.
Mindee, from my experience it sounds like the underlying issues ( your family of origin , your self esteem ) of why you started drinking need to be explored❤
Do you have a therapist? Have you looked into treatment?
This is really hard work but you can do it - baby steps
Message me if you want to talk
Well for me young bro in recovery I'm 44 and I lost my job sober I lost my dad sober I lost what it appears the girl of my dreams sober
I lost my income to help my brother kids when he passed sober I was misunderstood in this recovery process of being sober and in legal affairs sober I got bad grade in college sober I got off probation for the second time sober I had to do swap for the second time sober
And had to pay rent ECT sober to support my self sober I been broken down to the lowest common denominator sober and just when I was to say the addict anthem a calm came over me and appraisal me for what I been through and gave me salvation just for that day to keep it simple and that's the day I knew my higher power I found to be god again showed me grace and mercy
I been a bad son to my mother I been a bad brother
I been a bad uncle I been a bad grandson I been a bad work I been a bad student I been a bad worker I been a bad state man and I been a bad boyfriend and a bad friend and follower of evil when I was drinking and I lost a lot then too
Today I can make things right and even if it means just staying sober today and most times that's what I'm doing and trying not to get angry cause I didn't see the others point of view I could just except that that's how you feel and I have too deal wit it and come 28th of October I have 20 years in this process and I still ain't perfect just a lot better than I use to be
Thanks fa reading my post !
My condolences for the lost of your mom I don't know how I would feel if that happen but while she here I try to let her see me doing something more than been bad
Thanks aA you did your job fa me today I say since you new give your self some time and I know you got to work and stuff like that but just do 90 / 90 in meeting
Check in with a person that you find working the program the way you like and ask could you get in where you fit in wit the other patron and share pray and meditate on God's answer but most importantly don't use
If you're not going to AA meetings you really need to start. There's a saying in AA. First things first.
You didn't get this way overnight and you're not going to earn people's trust overnight. It's going to take some time. You have to give time, time. There are no shortcuts.
The good news is that you can do this and gaining people's trust again really is possible. But it starts with you making a decision. And don't do like some peole and try to do it on your own because that is a big mistake!
We of Alcoholics Anonymous are countless men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of body and mind!
If you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps.