I don’t feel understood. It really makes me resent the people around me.
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People who are not addicts can not understand the struggles we as addicts go through. And thats ok. We can not ask them to. All we can ask is they are patient with us and respect boundaries we have set for ourselves. Imagine trying to explain the sky is blue to a blind person who has never seen blue. They have no concept of color. Don’t resent them, have empathy that they will never understand.
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The people around me are heavily addicted to alcohol but won’t admit it 
I’m the odd ball because I want to change
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Then you have a decision to make. Cut ties or grin and bear it. You can not force anyone to change. I spent a good 6 months avoiding people because they would drink heavy in front of me. I still see them and hang out, but once the drinking starts getting outta control, I walk away. They understand that’s my boundary and respect it. They also know k will always be there if they make the choice to get sober. You worry about you. Let them worry about them.
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Welcome to my world. Ha. It used to bother me in high school but I’ve embraced it as an adult. Still sucks but at least I’ve accepted it. As for addiction, there is no way in the world a non-addict will ever understand someone with an addiction. And as my asshole psychiatrist used to say… find the people who DO get you. If only it were that easy, right?
When I first read this, I thought you meant your feelings/perspective/not being validated! 
But it’s kind of the same thing: they don’t understand you (but they are you and don’t want to look at it-too scary). I felt like I was the sick one, but then I realized at saw how I was blossoming and becoming so joyful and they were all “wasting” their own lives, relationships and potential away….stuck in the bottle. This country is very unhealthy. I know I’m a beacon for others-the right people are coming into my life, but I had to go through darkness. It might mean letting go of these people-it sounds like you already are. My current friends now hardly drink, if at all.
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Nancy you’re a goddess I feel like you understood me so well just now, and you’re like future me talking to myself. I really needed this and the hope!!! I’m sick and tired of wasting life in the bottle !!!!
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I hope it gets easier
Thank you🙏🏾 I guess I have to go through the loneliness first
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You have to understand yourself first. It’s an inside out job. And ‘normies’ will never understand
Thank you this is so true. I guess I don’t quite understand myself or I wouldn’t have this issue in the first place ..
I love being alone because I love myself and God. But it took a long painful time. Meetings helped me, prayer, meditation, and making a couple healthy friends in fellowship. I was told to date myself…and I do! I take all kinds of classes like singing, song writing, drums. I travel by myself internationally! I’ve made more friends doing what I love! The friends you currently have, I’ve learned, will never, ever change unless they’re working on themselves. They’re sinking ships. You have no idea what goes on behind closed doors but statistically, it’s ugly. I always keep that thought in my head. They only care about image, power and money. I’ve said I would rather hang out with a room full of addicts than all the fake people in the “real world.” I’m proud I’m spiritually and mentally healthy. They are not. You are an asset and should be proud-you’re on the right path! We need more people like you in this world! Do you see that? And don’t think they and others won’t try to bring you down. I’m going through this with a bunch of unhealthy gossipy mean girls at the moment who act just like my daughter’s group…and they are 11! Told ya they don’t age! Oh, that reminds me: I heard the day you start drinking is the day you stop your emotional maturity.
I recommend Al Anon as well as AA. I’ve gone for eight years and learned about “detaching with love”, boundaries, and more. I found these meetings took me to a higher place spiritually. BTW: Al Anoners don’t know their own addictions, but it’s usually love, codependency, sugar and rage (spot it, I got it! )
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Well said 
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As hard as it can be, I needed to get divorced, move and start 100% over to get sober. I don’t have old friends anymore, after 30 years of use, everyone you know uses. My case was extreme but you do have to be willing to walk away from some relationships, or at least keep your distance
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Glad you joined Nancy; good stuff
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Thank you so much. I really believe it is necessary. Because it just becomes my comfort zone like oh hey wanna hang? Always already means BINGE DRINKING!
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Yep!
Same here re: divorce and cutting ties with my alcoholic family. I was on a sinking ship and had to jump off with life vests for me and my kids. Other alcoholics wanted to keep me in the role they pegged me for: the crazy volcano, but in reality, I was the truth keeper, the one who rebelled and asked questions.
I think the worst part is their refusal to look in their own mirrors and ever be accountable.
They don’t want me to change, but I’ve stepped out. Now they can only attack each other.
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Exactly.
Go to AA or find sober commmunity who will no one who is not an addict or alcoholic will understand
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