I had almost a fifth, probably 14-15 drinks. It had been almost 20 days. I drove my car.
This is the last time. I’m done with this. Getting time and then blowing it. Drunk me is not the real me. Im kissing her goodbye.
I would really appreciate some words of encouragement. Let me know I’m not alone. Thanks.
You’re definitely not alone but are you attending meetings? I suggest you do 90 in 90 days to keep you accountable
Thanks Luis. I’ll do that.
Get to a meeting.
I suggest you look at connecting with some type of community locally or continue here in Loosid to check it everyday for added support
You can do this
Get up Mel! Like Kris said If this drunk @#$ can you can. Ensure your better future.
Mel I know the drunk you is not the real you as the drunk me was not the real me. I pray to God to help me and HE always does. I suggest you socialize with supportive people whether at AA, a Church, or some other sober functions.
You can do it Mel! I had a real difficult time understanding honesty. I always told myself I could stop drinking anytime I wanted. Until I tried to quit. I was lying to myself that my life was more important than the alcohol. The truth was there was NOTHING more important than the drink. I think once I accepted just how much alcohol had ahold of me and realized just how powerless I was my desperation played a much bigger part. The gift of desperation!!
you can do it 
I second this! 90 in 90 really helped me!
Have you read the doctor's opinion and bills story. Find the first step in Bills story then see what it was that relieved of the obsession to drink.
Don't beat yourself up, we all are human and not perfect. just remember that you're only 1 drink away from your next drunk. So as long as u never take that 1st drink today and you will not get drunk. It really is one day at a time sometimes even one moment at a time
One of the things that made me want to stop is how using or drinking made me feel about myself. The other BIG thing was is not being able to like who I was. What made me want to change which is necessary to stay sober is not liking who I was. But if you stop, go to meetings and take action and be willing to change which can be hard because of having to let go of the old, you can grow into a person that you are happy with. I promise you! Let go and grow!!
Mel, you can do this but with real help. I too was a chronic relapser way too long! Finally I got sick and tired of losing every battle against my alcoholism/addiction. I went to in person meetings every day for way over a year, got sponsors, did the 12 steps to the very best of my ability multiple times, did service work and it really worked!
Almost 16 years later and still HAPPILY & GRATEFULLY SOBER.
I’m here if you are serious and want to talk.
There may be times we slip and make mistakes. It’s ok, sure it can be frustrating and disappointing but it’s ok. What matters the most is you get right back to recovery. Go to a meeting, get your white chip again and get back on track. If you can’t take it one day at a time right now, take it one minute at at time if you have to. Meditate and seek your higher power. You can do it and I support you. You’re never alone
I’m sorry to hear that you felt your only choice was to begin drinking again. However you made it back and God spared you from jails, institutions and death. Remember only 1 in 10 make it. Which one are you going to be?
WE have a solution! Long term long term sobriety is available to each and everyone of us.
Three questions my sponsor asked me was..
Most importantly…. Just don’t stop. Live and breathe this program in all areas of your life. I did and it’s been 30 + years since I had a drink. Best wishes.
Great advice
I sold my car like 15 years ago cuz I was lucky to have not hurt anybody, but it was a matter of time. Buzzed me doesn't drive, but drunk me is a DAREDEVIL!
You have the will and will find the way. You can do it. You have support here