Don’t stop trying to get help.have and open mine .try aa for 90 meetings in 90 day.then decide.remember people are trying to help you.
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Thank you
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You’re not an idiot or a failure. 
give yourself some grace. This isn’t an easy thing to do.
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You got to move forward sober back. This time around you know that won't work for you.
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Next time you're thinking about drinking try to remember what happened the last time. Alcoholism fed you a big lie; that this time things will be okay. I keep telling people on this app that you have to learn to play the scene all the way forward. You may feel good for a while but sooner or later you're going to be right back where you are right now having to deal with all the feelings that you're dealing with right now.
The biggest problem I see in this app is people are trying to stop drinking but they're not putting a solution into place. It's kind of like taking a horse thief and getting them sober. In the end all you have is a sober horse thief. There has to be a change from within or we are probably going to go back out there again.
Alcohol was but a symptom of our problem. We have to get down to causes and conditions. This is why it's important to go to meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous and surround yourself with people who have been there and have in fact recovered.
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These things happen remember we have the only disease that tells us we don’t have a disease!! While we try to get sober our disease is doing push-ups! I realized I can’t just have 1 ever again because that will be my downfall. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep it moving! You got this!!
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You are not an idiot nor a failure. I know I for one for a long time tried to convince myself I could be a moderate drinker. Maybe just a shift in your perspective too “well I tried that and it didn’t work so I don’t have to try that again because I know it won’t work!” You probably wouldn’t call your friend a failure or an idiot if they thought they could have just one drink that set off of binge. You deserve kindness, especially from yourself. 
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You are not a failure. 125 days of sobriety is a triumph! Climb back up on that horse and try again. Shame and guilt feeling’s do not help us.
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Hi, Edward. I have yet to read each comment while I have no doubt that each one is supportive. So many of us have been where you are. I screwed up close to two years of sobriety and spent the following five drinking every night, hating myself. This is my umpteenth time starting over. I am on Day 50 today. I completely get how the self loathing, guilt, shame can take over while as I saw relayed earlier, my gosh-yes. You are brave for showing up, being honest and going for sobriety. We’re here for you, wishing you the best!
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This disease we have truly are s cunning, baffling and powerful. I know, after relapsing with decades of recovery. So glad you’re here, keep coming back!
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You are not an idiot. I have the same issue. I start to feel good and think I can have one or two drinks, NOPE. one is too many and a thousand is never enough
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It’s not for me either, I am shy and don’t like opening up but I think we all have the same story, we drink to numb out, I am 24 hours and I feel aweful
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You are surrounded by idiots and failures. We understand
Hey Edward! I did the same thing at 100 days. 
Hey Edward! Have you tried Smart Recovery? It’s science based. It’s honestly they only program that’s helpful for me.
Hang it there you got this!
You are neither of those things. You are human. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Getting comfortable can be dangerous. Today is a new day and so is tomorrow. Make them better
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You are not a failure. You did what most of do. I think AS said it. 1 drink is too many 100 is never enough. Don't ever forget that. People with yrs of sobriety learn the hard way. Sorry but it is a fact. Pick yourself up and move on.
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Get back to it Edward, you can do it
I've read through some, but not all the replies and don't know if it's mentioned but they're are other groups, like smart recovery, recovery Dharma, lifering, and others that are not religion based. Recovery Dharma is loosely based on Buddhist teachings and philosophy but it's not religious. I'm a buddhist/atheist so I go to that one. I would recommend, it's very non judgemental and there is a 20 minute meditation before the meeting which I really enjoy and it's helpful. You got this, and you are not a failure. Pick yourself up, learn, and move on. 
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Edward, you are not an idiot or a failure. You have a disease just like I do. When I drink, I can’t stop. It’s so easy to slip into negative thoughts and you feel like you’ve let yourself down, but you should be really proud of yourself for talking about it here. You have the desire to stop drinking which is the seed of sobriety. The hardest thing I ever did was admit that I was an alcoholic and completely powerless over alcohol (not to mention absolutely everything else). But it is the beginning of everything.