I’m honestly ready to die, countless suicide attempts and I’m

Struggling Help
#22

Thank you

#23

Thank you Stephanie

#25

Thank you so much Jen I’m trying

#27

We are spiritual beings who need connection. Go find your tribe they are out there just gotta get out and look!

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#28

I was in therapy between the ages of 16-18 because I was getting into legal trouble do to substance abuse a lot of therapy and treatment/correctional facilities. Back then alcohol was never really an issue. I honestly never really thought about it much at all to be honest. I mostly smoked marijuana and drank on occasion. I was in an out of trouble as a youth and ended up in jail for a year and completed 3 years of probation. I was 21 at the time then, that’s when it all really went down hill I’ve drank basically everyday since my 21st birthday and now I’m 23 even through all that I didn’t realize I was an alcoholic until the demise of a toxic relationship a few months ago. Now that I know I’m an alcoholic and have a disease everything has changed and I’ve never been more miserable in my life. I can’t do this forever and I won’t do this forever, it’s an extremely difficult time for me and any attempt to get sober only really last 24hrs. I can’t do an inpatient program because I have to many responsibilities so I’m just trying to make a way for myself but honestly I’m getting so defeated at this point I’m so close to giving up on everything and saying screw it. Hoping one day I can look back at this and be grateful at how far I’ve come in sobriety

#29

Thank you Tina I really do hope I can find my tribe one day

#31

Im going to repeat the first ten words of Jens post in my mind non stop

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#32

Thank you for the advice I really admire people who have as much clean time as yourself. I strive to make that happen for myself

#33

One way or another we can make it through, Brenn.

#34

Agreed brother. Only other outcome for me is gonna be death. Hope you got through the worst of your emotions and feelings from a few hours ago. I know that feeling and it’s one of the worst feelings in the world.

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#35

I feel a lot better right now. I just hope both of us never have to feel like that again and that we can beat this disease

#38

Haha thank you so much Jen, your words have definitely made me feel empowered. I love this community so much and I think this is the magic of aa/na just a community of people who know the pain and struggle and just the support is so special. Like we’re all soldiers fighting a war against an evil enemy, some of us have died but there is never any man or woman left behind. I absolutely love that, thank you so much

#39

Do you need a new friend to talk to

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#40

Thanks for the love Sam I appreciate it💪

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#42

Can’t thank you enough Jen, the love is overwhelming 🥹

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#43

Always good to have someone to talk to! Add me if ya want Sheila thank you

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#45

We’re never really alone. We carry everyone who has ever loved us, or who we have loved with us wherever we are

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#46

Malcom I’ve been in your shoes many times. I feel like suicide is a body trying to survive while your mind is trying to die. You have to dig deep and do everything in your power to get those thoughts into alignment with what your trying to accomplish. Way easier said than done, I know… but you have a reason to be here and so many reasons to live. This to shall pass. Responsibilities you have won’t matter if your not here. I see you wanna live and get well or you wouldn’t have even mentioned having responsibilities. Healing comes first, it’s not selfish it’s necessary in building the foundation you need to walk on, remember first step is always the hardest because it’s the biggest. I’m here for you anytime, even if you just need to vent. Hang in there… DONT hang it up. :pray:

2 Likes
#47

Malcolm, you're our brother! You're stuck with us now. We have your back. Please live.

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#48

Thank you all very much